"Mmh... Right there baby just go a little lower!"

I stopped instantly raising my face to look at my boyfriend beneath my lashes. His eyes were closed and he was still moaning.

Suddenly his brown eyes flew open and our eyes locked.

No, sparks did not fly, I don't think any other sparks could fly with the way he was staring at me right now.

"Why did you stop?" Duncan asked pouting rather childishly.

I chuckled. "That look so does not suit you."

He frowned sitting up on the bed and throwing his shirt over his head. "That's not what I asked."

Ugh! Grumpypants, I mused.

"You said I should go lower," I replied shrugging.

He blinked like he was trying to understand what I said. "Yes?"

I rolled my eyes. "I can't go lower 'cause that would entail me to pull your briefs down and see your manhood and do whatever it was you were suggesting."

He still looked confused. "And?"

I groaned now, standing up from the bed and walking towards Susie's closet—yes we were in her room sinning, that's what grandma would have said I can't be making out with my boyfriend in my room.

Have you met my grandma? My subconscious snickered.

"And it's not okay for me to see your manhood before marriage," I replied with a sigh.

He looked bewildered. "It's called a dick."

I gave him a confused look. "What?"

It was his turn to groan. "Manhood sounds archaic now it's known as a dick."

I shook my head thoughtfully, "I'll pass on the name offer but seriously is that the only thing you picked out on what I was saying?"

"I'm not asking for sex, Hailey. I only asked for a BJ we'll be getting married in a few days it's not wrong for us to start practicing now," he said calmly running a hand through his blonde hair.

He looked calm but I knew better that whenever he runs his hand through his hair he was frustrated. But hold up I heard an unfamiliar acronym.

What's a BJ? I wanted to ask but kept quiet.

He came towards me again and captured my mouth in another kiss. I'm a hopeless romantic but I also know this kiss is sloppy, it wasn't turning me on or making sparks fly or all those other fantasizing stuff.

Let's just try the BJ, my mind was on the verge of giving in.

I could almost hear grandma's voice as clear as day, "Hailey don't fall into temptation that is coming from the devil."

I pulled away hurriedly. I noticed the look of hurt on his face. "I'm sorry."

He sighed pulling me down gently and I ended up on his lap. "I want you, Hailey. Can't you see that?"

Sometimes I felt bad about doing this to him like we've been together for almost two years and we've done nothing except kiss a little and try to make out—try because I never let him.

"Hailey I haven't even seen you naked before," he let out a frustrated groan.

You haven't seen me in my undies you're talking about naked, I swallowed the words, I didn't want to upset him the more.

"I'm damn tired, Hailey this isn't alright with me," he continued his rants.

No don't get me wrong I feel bad for him but I can't compromise my beliefs and training. Everything Grandma has been telling me, I just can't throw it all away.

I didn't look up till he walked out of the room slamming the door shut.

I pulled out one of my favorite books that I had hidden in Susie's room—her drawer. I began reading, got lost in the words till—

"What happened, Hailey?"

—Till Susie walked through the door.

I rolled my eyes as I closed my book and looked up. "What do you mean?"

Susie massaged my temples. "Are you scared, Hailey? You can tell me." She had a frown on her face.

I still had no idea of what she was talking about so I gave her a blank look.

"Tell me why you haven't had sex with your boyfriend!"

I bless the lord we aren't in my home, Grandma will have my head.

"Sex is what happens between two married people," I replied with a shrug.

She gave me an incredulous look. "Are you serious right now? Who taught you that bullshit!"

I giggled. "I'd love to see you try calling grandma's teachings bullshit to her face."

Susie shot me a glare. "That is so not what we're talking about."

I nodded. "I'm quite aware of that except that this conversation is boring, pointless, and irrelevant."

Susie gasped—like she gasped not to fake it. "Sex education isn't pointless. I'm teaching you an important aspect as part of being educated sexually and you say it's irrelevant."

I groaned. "Topic closed. I have been taught about sex education by my grandma."

Susie threw her hands up in the air. "Exactly. Which makes the teaching archaic because it was taught by your old grandma."

I cocked my brow at her smirking, "Really?"

"Alright let me get this straight has he ever asked you for a BJ or a HJ?" Susie asked.

I frowned. He has mentioned these acronyms before. "Yeah, he's mentioned them before."

Susie smirked, "Did you do it?"

I gave her a confused look, "I didn't know what it was and he wouldn't tell me. Just wanted me to strip him naked and I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"OMG!" Susie covered her mouth with her hands. "You haven't seen your boyfriend's dick?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "No. Now tell me what's a BJ and HJ?"

Susie chuckled. "It's called Blow job and hand job."

I frowned still trying to understand what she meant. "I only know that both things have a job."

Susie was on the verge of breaking down from laughter. Her friend's innocence was just too much sometimes.

"Blow job is done with the mouth. You suck his dick and hand jobs are done with the hand. You massage his dick," Susie explained still chortling.

I made a face. Ew! Why would I suck a place where urine passes out from? Who does that?

"I am not going to ever do that," I faked throwing up.

She laughed at me, a small smirk playing on her lips. "How do you know you would like the size of his dick when you've not seen it before?"

I glared at her. "I don't need to see it to know that it'll be okay for me."

Susie chuckled with a coy smile. "Honey I'm yet to see the dick size that I love."

Oh my God, this is the worst convo ever. I need to find a way to distract myself. I settled on looking around the room and its decoration. It was absolutely beautiful—the view from the balcony that is. I abandoned my sex educationist friend—if that's a word— and headed out to the balcony.

The sun was shining already through the balcony casting a soft glow on the golden color silk cotton that hung on the window. I sighed.

I could stay here all night watching this and never getting tired.

"I was talking to you and you walked out on me." I heard her sharp voice behind me.

I groaned. "I walked out because I was bored of listening to your sinful lectures."

Susie laughed. "You're calling me a sinner now."

I shook my head giggling, "I never said that. Everyone is a sinner."

"Oh I know," she nodded at me with her signature smirk, "You are just a virgin of the body because I know damn well that you have disvirgined your mind."

Truth be told I sometimes thought of what sex will be like but I guess you can only have the ability to imagine widely when you've seen and experienced some things.

I on the other hand was not advanced there. Even the books I read don't reveal many details, I've heard people have sex while watching a movie or reading a book. I'm yet to find that kind of book.

"Are you even listening to me?!" Her high pitched angry voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I managed a small smile. "Yes?"

"Ugh! You're impossible!" And she threw herself face down on the bed.

I stood silently watching the reflection of the sun and wondered what he had meant by "being tired" and not "alright" by him. The more I replayed our conversation in mind, the more puzzled I became.

Was he planning on calling off the wedding?