"Have you always been so demanding?"
It's only in the presence of you, all common norms escape me
Crossing the road, I stumbled in forbidden territory to get to you
I shouldn't have, still I did it anyway
I'm a good girl.
Do I regret all I've done?
Not one bit.
Keeping my eyes on the cutlery I know, glancing in his direction, stars will fall, destroying me.
I dug myself this hole, told myself to keep my distance and the first chance I get with him, i plunge head first into him.
It's like I tell myself one thing, and then do the opposite
"You okay?" came his deep voice. It oozed over me; tightening my legs I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked up at him.
Deep cobalt, blue eyes.
He shrugged his shoulders before he continued." I don't know. You keep staring at that cutlery as if it did something to you. If you're uncomfortable we can go somewhere else."
I appreciated his offer. Granted I am nervous, I bit down more than I could chew.
"I'm fine really. How have you been?"
His eyes scraped every inch of my face, he didn't seem convinced but he managed to not push the subject further.
"As of late… not to good, one of the only other people who treated me nicely stopped talking to me." He stared directly into my eyes and the glint in his eye, ignited more flames.
"It wasn't my intention to stop talking to you. Just had other obligations."
"I know," he sighed gazing to the side." You were with Derek."
The way in which he said sounded almost...sad. I could be reading too much into it.
As if out of some stupor he shook his head smiling and the moment passed. The waitress soon returned and the smile she directed towards Alex for some odd reason pissed me off.
This isn't the first time I've seen a woman ogle at him. In the office some of the ladies who engage in the occasional gossip, I once overheard them gushing over his looks.
Once she left after refilling his glass, flirtatious smile in full effect as if I wasn't even there.
He's not mine.
So what if other women want him?
He, however, appeared oblivious to the attention he had received.
"Looks like the waitress has a crush on you."
"What are you talking about?" The fact that he was serious only made me laugh at his innocent ignorance at not seeing the clear desire she had for him.
"You're kidding right? So you're telling me, you didn't see the way that waitress was looking at you. She was practically undressing you with her eyes."
"Uh I guess I just didn't notice," he shifted around in his seat. And I found it rather cute how apprehensive he is.
"Only one thing can make you that blind. So what's her name?"
Biting his lip, he chuckled at the sudden bluntness and the assumption I've made.
"I don't have anyone in my life."
"You're joking right?" I was shocked. For someone like him to at least not have anyone in his radar is unprecedented since he's by far one of the most interesting people I know if his tales, of once engaging in illegal races back in high school are only a glimpse into who he is.
"Okay so do you have a split personality...are you a serial killer. What's wrong with you such that you're still single?"
He laughed and I decided I can get used to hearing that sound.
"You want the honest truth, Raquel?"
If he keeps saying my name who knows what I'll do.
Remember, you’re a good girl.
I chose to nod my head, afraid if I used my voice it will crack and reveal more than intended.
"Well I'm single because the one I did find...society directs too much of her dance stopping all probability of us two to be." as he said all this, his eyes were fixed on me.
Immobile, stuck in my seat.
I just fell.
For the past week Alex and I had fallen into a nice routine. He no longer went with the bus and instead became my riding buddy. Before dropping him off home, we'd have dinner together.
I enjoyed his company and I was glad he enjoyed mine just as much. Nothing has transpired between us two and things remained friendly.
The hugs we share, I wouldn't describe them as friendly though.
It grew alarmingly easy turning a blind eye to Derek's excuses as to why we couldn't have dinner and I stopped trying. At least he vowed to be my escort to the annual ball where I was receiving my award. It felt good to see my work paying off.
To say I was excited about it was an understatement, being honoured on such a large public platform made the days of being a little girl, under bed covers at night reading fashion magazines worth it.
My dad wanted to be there but was needed by his friend... I think from what I could recall his name was Daniel. It was apparently a major issue and therefore, meant he was going to be out of town. My mother had yet to confirm and I had given the invitation to her weeks ago. I'm not holding my breath though. Whether she comes or not I'm going to have a great time with the people who actually matter to me.
Looking at my phone, for the first time in a long time I smiled which is what I have been doing of late, upon seeing the message.
Got my cast removed yesterday. Going to pick you up. Tell Philip he's just lost his job- Lex