𝙎𝙤𝙛𝙞𝙖:
My eyes went open when I found myself in Carniella's room, bedridden. 
She was sitting aside me. 
I fidgeted and my movement attracted her attention. 
She turned towards me. 
" you okay? " she asked with a concerned voice. 

I crawled my head up and rested on headrest. 
" yeah just a headache, how come I'm here? "
" you don't remember? "
I shook my head. 
" you paased out, when the guards informed me, that you were lying outside.Did something happlying"
I thought of that blonde guy, his creepy touches, and nothing else. 
I thought of not creating a scene so I ignored. 
" may be bad weather, I'm not so used to with this weather"
She nodded and gave me a medicine. 

I thought of leaving, so to not become a burden on Carniella, and obviously not ruin her party, so I asked for my leave. 
Initially she denied but after giving some careful mommy suggestions, she bid me goodbye. 
My heart was still not having a normal pace, as I remembered today's incident. 

I tried to distract myself so I switched on the TV, so to discover that the same guy, was murdered on the nearby bridge. 
It was so pathetic that, even they weren't able to share the glance of it. 

I don't know but I felt scared. 

Now instead of distracting myself I put myself more in a restless condition. 

Now the only option left is my anti-anxeity tablets. 
I don't have them frequently as they are addictive, I used to take these pills when I used to feel alone in the absence of my parents. 
... 
𝙉𝙞𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙨:
His body turned into a corpse as I stabbed my knife in his back, and engraved death with that. 
I wanted to give him a brutal death. 
He deserved that. 
He roamed his filthy hands on Sofia's body. 
I witnessed it. 
I couldn't touch her, when she passed out. 
She'll be all scared when she'll get to know about her stalker. 
I punched him right at his face, but couldn't do anything right then. 

So I planned his death. 
A brutal one. 
So that even his soul will be scared of laying it's hands on Sofia. 
She is pure. 
and I can't let these filthy sons of a bitch to ruin her. 
She didn't file a complain. 
I knew it. 
She won't. 
She is scared. 
I never wanted to witness this incident, her screams, rather I wished for her delight, but everything got distorted because of that bastard, that blonde guy. 

When I saw her in that pink dress, I tried hard not to lose my calm and claim her. 

She is making me do undesirable things. 
I never controlled myself. 
I never did. 
But today, I did so, for her. 
And even this control is pleasurable until she is safe. 
"Now the Capodicena is involved in street murders too? isn't him? " Luca's voice made me earthed. 

I looked at the other direction too tired to argue over this matter. 
I know what I did. 

" You know, you are a Capo right ? " I didn't feel a need to answer him. 
I just remained rooted at my position sipping my wine in the dark. 

"Don't fall for her Capo! This isn't the the ultimate goal! " 
He had sincerity in his voice. 
I know this isn't an ultimate goal. 
What is the ultimate goal then? 
I don't have answers. 
But do I have a control? 
I never had a privilege to attend the school but in the school of life, I learned that feelings do exist. 
But only when you allow them to penetrate your heart. 

My feelings died with my father's funeral. 
But today, I felt a feeling, I don't know what's that called.
But I did feel it. 
And I don't want to resist it. 
It's an euphoric sensation, and I'm satisfied with it. 
Contented enough that I can survive with it. 
But suddenly another unknown sensation blew my mind, a thought. 
A thought of losing her. 
She was helpless, when that guy tried to molest her. 
Her silent screams were echoing in my ears. 
Why am I feeling this much for her? 
I never had felt this connection with anyone. 
I fucked many girls, random chicks and even milfs but she is different. 
I don't want to fuck her. 
I really can't sort what's there in my brain. 

It's really unexplainable how a guy who claimed that he never had feelings is suddenly being infatuated to a girl who is not even properly known to her. 

I want to distant myself. 
I want to run away. 
I don't want to ruin her through my dark world. 
Cause one meeting with me, and she'll be forged in my world. 
A world surrounded by criminals , assassins and drug dealers. 
Our hands all wet in blood. 
Not a single day, our eyes don't witness brutality. 
But I want to keep her safe from this. 
No matter how much I run, she captivates me through those invisible strings. 
Those strings which inevitably are binding me. 
I want to tell her, not to do that. 
But what is she doing? 
Nothing. 
This is my inner self who is putting myself in dilemma. 

𝙎𝙤𝙛𝙞𝙖:
I was all scared by yesterday's incident. 
That creepy guy and his mysterious murder. 
Did someone intentionly do that? 
For me? 
It's not even near to possible, I only know few people in this whole country. 
Not more than two or three. 
I don't know why but this place has started haunting me. 
The crime rate, the murders, the rape cases every day, makes me seclude myself. 
But this is what I wanted right? 
it was my decision to observe the world through my eyes. 
And this is what I'm getting. 

I'm truly believing on the saying' grass is greener on the other side' and that's what it seemed though. 
I thought daddy, caged me, made me a parrot in his luxurious mansion but now it seems different. 
he wanted to protect. 
But there is no turning back. 
Is it? 
Currently my mind is preoccupied with all paranoid thoughts. 
I not a paranoid but holy Goddess who remains calm even after so much happened all of the sudden. 
I thought of taking a leave and rest for a day, may be it'll help calm myself. 

I closed my eyes. 
I wanted to remember something illusional and I got a picture, a guy, the one saved me on that day. 
Nico. 
I instantly opened my eyes. 
It's all those anti -anxiety tablets' fault that I'm getting random person's thoughts. 

I shook my head and went to take a hot long shower, and let the warm water soothe my soul. 

Much better. 
but still why Nico? 
... 
𝙊𝙠 𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖚𝖑  𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘