"I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don't dare to let out."

- Ally Carter

***********************************************

I sat in English the next day still in shock after what Camila had told me. Noah threatened her with Angelo's life, what kind of monster does that? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, the only person I knew who could handle this situation couldn't be told, not like I would want to talk to him anyway. I thought about going to Rylan or even Rose but I'm not sure how much good it would do, it would just put them in danger. Even if we did somehow stop Noah who's to say another one of his guys would start where he left off?

But I couldn't sit around and let Camila be punching bag either. I remember her saying that Noah wasn't going to stop sending people after me and from what I saw the other night I believed her. I was terrified to leave my room and I constantly felt like I was being watched. Axel said I should tell Samantha that I can't take the job, which I considered doing, but then I remember it was Axel who said it and instantly disagreed.

If I get enough money I could buy a plane ticket back to New York, sure I'll be homeless but at least I wouldn't have to worry about gangs or looking over my shoulder everywhere I go.

Mrs. Porter was rambling about some literature assignment that was due next week. I tried paying attention to her but between everything that was going on in my head and the intense stare that I knew was coming from Axel, I couldn't really concentrate.

I knew that the unwavering stare was coming for him because for the past day that's all he has been doing. It's quite creepy really. I could tell he has been stepping on eggshells around me ever since he read my journal. He probably didn't know if I was going to scream at him or break down in tears. The truth is I could yell at Axel until I was red in the face but it would do no good, the damage is done, I was never one to cry over spilled milk.

Unless it was chocolate.

Now that Axel has read my journal he's acting differently around me now, he asks me if I need rides to school or if I want him to wait in my room until I fall asleep. Of course, I decline and tell him to leave me alone but that doesn't stop him from acting like I'm fine china or something. It honestly makes me feel worse, I don't need his or anybody's else pity. I didn't write those things down for attention or to show off how miserable my life was.

I psychically cringed thinking about the things Axel most had read in that book. I'll admit some things in that journal are a little overdramatic even though they're all true events but I guess when you're that sad, no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience. When it's one disaster after another you stop looking at it as a bad day but more as the world is out to get you. I remember waking up most days feeling so sad that I forgot what it's like not to be and now thinking back on it, isn't that the sad part?

From the age of seven, all the way until I was fifteen was when I shrugged the most with my panic attacks, at first it was over normal things people were nervous about like public speaking, meeting new people or even the dark. But slowly and surely the triggers were over smaller events like people looking at me for a millisecond too long, people raising their voices even if it was direct towards me or even what I was going to have for dinner that night. I felt like I was fighting for my life every day, my seven-year-old self didn't know then how to control my breathing or not to focus on the constricting of my rib cage.

I wanted to ask what was happening to me but I learned at a young age that just because somethings happen doesn't mean we talk about it. It might make someone uncomfortable. I also learned at a young age to not have compassion for anyone that doesn't outrage.

"Mr. Deacon, what are you doing?" Said Mrs. Porter, bring me out of my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder towards Axel's desk, curious as to what she was talking about.

That's when I noticed Axel marching straight at me. My eyes widen when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the classroom door.

"Mr. Deacon you cannot just leave class!" Mrs. Porter yelled.

Axel stopped walk and turned to face her, his expression was annoyed and unbothered.

"Do you ever shut up?" He asked, giving her an irritated look.

I gasp slightly and practically pleaded with her to stop him with my eyes but she did nothing but gape at him as he pulled me into the hallway.

"You can't talk to a teacher that way!" I hissed at him.

"We need to talk." He ignored my statement which made me roll my eyes.

"Are you ready to tell me what I want to know?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him.

"Of course not." He shook his head.

"Then we have nothing to talk about," I said, turning to walk back into English class.

"What a minute would you?" He huffed, grabbing my shoulder.

"Don't. touch. me." I sneered but Axel didn't care.

"You can't hate me forever Angel." He stated.

"I can try." I countered, pulling his hand off of me.

"Why are you so goddamn stubborn." He spoke looking down the hallway towards one the guys I recognize seeing the night at the warehouse, he was apart of Axel's gang. I watch as he sent him a slight nod before returning his attention to me.

"Why are you so goddamn annoying?" I asked him.

The close distance between us was making my head spin and it took all the willpower I had to not look up at Axel's face.

"Fine." He said through gritted teeth.

"Fine, what?" My eyes snapped towards his.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know." He sighed in defeat.

"Really?" I said in shock.

My body tingled when Axel pressed his body into mine, making my back hit random lockers. His dark brown eyes searched mine, I wasn't sure what he was trying to find and I don't think he did either.

"But you got to promise me something." He whispered slowly, licking his lips in the process.

"What's that?" I squirmed slightly trying not to look at him.

"You got to promise you'll forgive me." He muttered, looking down at my lips.

"I promise," I said in a dazed state, looking at his lips, which I instantly snapped myself out of.

"I mean, if you tell me about your childhood then we will be even and we can go back to not being friends instead of enemies," I told him, standing up a little straighter.

The heat was rising to my cheeks when Axel rested his forehead against mine, I wanted to cruse myself for enjoying the feeling of his skin on mine. Out of the people in the world, of course, it had to be Axel Deacon who made my stomach lurch for all the good reasons.

"What are you doing to me, Angel?" He whispered so low that I don't think I was supposed to hear it. My heart started thumping and my palms were growing sweaty, I had an aching desire to push Axel away from me and run as far away as I could. I felt awkward because I had no clue what I should say in a situation like this.

And as if lord baby Jesus finally saw my struggle I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I gladly reached and grabbed the phone, I wasn't sure who would be texting me. My sudden movements made Axel back way slightly but I could still feel his breath hitting my cheek. I tried to ignore him and focus on the message that Wyatt sent me.

Wyatt: Bonfire tonight are you in?

My immediate thoughts were no, I wasn't going to some random bonfire but when Axel snatched my phone out of my hands and told me I couldn't go I suddenly had a change of heart.

"You can't tell me what to do." I huffed out.

"I said no Mia." Axel squinted his eyes at me, almost daring me to argue with him, so I did.

"Good thing I don't care what you say." I felt the corner of my lips tug upwards slightly.

I saw him clench his jaw, obviously not happy with my rebellion. I wanted to laugh at him for always being so serious but I didn't think that would have been the best solution right now.

"You're a pain in the ass, do you know that?" He tried to sound annoyed but I saw the amusement in his eyes.

"Yeah well, you're a pain everywhere else." I rolled my eyes.

Axel chuckled, shaking his head at me, I couldn't help the smile that erupted on my face, I made Axel laugh.

"Seriously though, you're not going." The amusement was long gone from his voice.

"Yes, I am." I gave him a pointed look.

"Mia it's not safe there will be too many people there, anything could happen." He said through his teeth.

"I'm going, Axel." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I can't just follow you around all the time Mia! I have shit I need to take care of!" His eyes blazing down at me.

"I never asked you too!" I shouted back

Axel's chest rumbled lowly, his eyes turned hard and emotionless. He was about to open his mouth to say something but right as his lips parted the bell rang and kids flooded through the hallways.

I took that as my chance to slip away from Axel and go back into Mrs. Porter's room to get my bag that I left. On my way out I apologized for Axel's lack of social skills and for causing a disturbance. She muttered a thank you with a small smile on her face.

When I walked into the hallway I was grateful not to find Axel waiting for me, that boy is getting me into more trouble by the day.

I looked down at my phone and wanted to groan out loud, I told Wyatt that I would go to this stupid bonfire, all because I didn't want Axel thinking he had control of me.

Stupid Axel.

******

"SWEET CAROLINE! BUMP BUMP BUMP!" Wyatt sang at the top of his lungs, dancing in the passenger seat. Occasionally he would reach up and pinch Phoenix cheeks, who was driving let me mind you.

"GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEMED SO GOOD." He continued.

I couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of me, I think Wyatt was trying to annoy him but it wasn't working, he was enjoying seeing his boyfriend make a fool of himself.

"I'VE BEEN INCLINED! BUMP BUMP BUMP!" Indy sang from beside me, reaching up and grabbing Wyatt's hand.

"TO BELIEVE THEY NEVER WOULD!" They sang in unison.

It was a little after six o'clock and after Wyatt had a five-minute temper tantrum, he demanded that I rode with Phoenix, Indy and him to the bonfire. I was going to ride with Rylan, Kina, and Angelo but Wyatt was having none of that, which I didn't mind. It was hilarious watching these two have a duet.

"Where exactly is this bonfire located?" I yelled over the music.

"A clearing up in the mountains," Phoenix answered, lowering the music slightly which got him a dirty look from both Wyatt and Indy.

"It's about thirty minutes away." He explained, looking at me through the rearview mirror.

I nodded my head, letting him know I understood and turned to look out the window. I was staring blankly outside, noting the fact we were getting farther and farther from the city.

I looked down at my phone and swallowed hard when it vibrated in my hands.

Axel: Where the hell are you?

I rolled my eyes and sent him a text back.

Mia: I think you already know.

Axel: Mia I fucking told you not to go!

I could feel his anger even though the text but I didn't care, I'm done letting people live my life for me.

I decided not to text Axel back and shoved the phone underneath my leg, out of sight out of mind.

Yeah right.

I stared back at the window but my thoughts would slowly drift to Axel.

Stupid Axel.

After some time we finally reached the section of the mountain we were supposed to be at. There were a bunch of vehicles parked in the grass because the only actual parking lot was at the bottom of the mountain for people that were hiking. Thankfully the trail up here wasn't rough or dangerous at all, it had been warned out by tourists that wanted to go to the top of the mountain.

I thought I would have been freaked out, you know with my fear of heights but luckily we weren't really that high up, maybe like halfway?

The sun was almost completely gone and the only light was the flames coming from the fire and random tiki lamps placed around. There were people everywhere some were dancing to the blaring music, some were sitting on the huge logs placed around the campfire and others were standing around tables and large keg containers filled with beer.

You'd never see something like this back home.

"Here," Wyatt said, thrusting a solo cup into my hands.

The sour smell of beer-filled my nose and I tried not cringe, I don't drink. I've seen the side effects of alcohol and I promised myself I wouldn't be like them.

Wyatt looked at expectingly, I knew he wanted me to drink it. One sip couldn't hurt I told myself besides, I didn't want to be that girl who was too good to have a beer. I brought the cup to my lips and took a swig and instantly regret it. The taste was as horrific as I remembered it to be. I wanted to spit it out but I forced the liquid down my throat.

Wyatt smiled proudly at me before running off to be with his boyfriend and Indy. I quickly dumped the beer out my cup and into the grass when no one was looking, or so I thought.

"That's kind of wasteful don't you think?" A voice asked behind me.

I turned around to be greeted with Angelo smiling knowingly at me.

"Don't tell Wyatt," I begged playfully.

"My lips are sealed." He said, acting like he was zipping his mouth shut.

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver." I joked, smiling up at him.

"Hey have you talk to my sister lately? Our parents sent in letters from Colombia yesterday." He explained.

I felt my heart sink at the mention of Camila, a hopeless feeling laid in my chest as I looked at Angelo's smile and thought about how the world would be a darker place without it.

"No, I haven't." I lied straight through my teeth.

"Well if you see her, can you tell her I'm looking for her?" He asked.

"Will do." I forced a smile.

I started walking away from Angelo, I had to get away from him. Whenever I looked at him I couldn't help but feel guilty for not telling him what's happening to Camila.

I decided I couldn't handle it anymore, I needed to tell someone, so I looked for Rylan, He'd know what to do. I couldn't bear knowing the thought of Camila being hurt by Noah.

I searched for what felt like forever and still couldn't find any sign of Rylan, which didn't help the hopeless feeling in my chest.

The sun was long gone and the full moon had taken its place instead, the chilly breeze on the mountain sent a shiver down my spine or maybe it was nerves, I wasn't sure.

I tried calling Rylan but his phone went straight to voicemail and I sighed. Deciding to give up on my hunt, for now, I went to sit by the fire to warm up, there were people talking and making out on the logs around me and I tried my best to ignore them.

I wasn't sure how long I was sitting there before I felt a presence sit down next to me. My body tensed up in fear and I refused to look at them. My heart pounded in my chest and I swear I could feel sweat rolling down my forehead.

"Hello, Mia."