13. Queen of the Donkeys

"Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others."

- Ellen DeGeneres

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I stood there for a few moments, my back press against the shut door. My head was whirling with questions and guilt. I felt completely horrible about kneeing Axel. He didn't deserve that, especially not after the fact he did save my life not once but twice, and if I didn't feel bad before, now Axel's saying I had put us both into danger somehow.

Knowing I had to do something, I opened my door and slowing made my way across the hall, dragging my feet across the soft carpet. I knocked on Axel's door, the familiar anxiousness was crawling up my throat.

A few minutes went by and Axel still hadn't opened the door, which I don't blame him. I wouldn't open the door either if I was him.

I was about to turn around and head back to my room when his door suddenly opens. I reluctantly look up to Axel's face, it was blank as it always was. I opened my mouth desperate to say something but my voice couldn't make it passed the knot in my throat.

Axel obviously was not in the mood for my games because he scoffed and began to shut the door in my face, but I quickly stopped it with my foot.

"Can we talk?" I muttered looking at him.

"I don't know, I'll let you know in four days." He spat, trying to close the door again. I guess I did deserve that one.

"I'm sorry Axel, I know I was an ass to you." I rushed out before he shut the door, but my apology didn't stop him from closing the door, leaving me alone in the hall.

"In fact, I'm more than ass, I'm like the queen of the donkeys." I raised my voice so he could hear me through the door. If he didn't want to talk he could at least listen.

"Granted you're not the kindest person in the world and you're rather bipolar but that doesn't excuse what I did," I spoke out loud.

"I don't honestly know why I kneed you, it's just you infuriate the living hell out me," I told him hoping he was listening.

"That sounded harsher than I meant it to be!" I facepalm.

Way to go Mia.

"I'm also sorry I ignored you, I know that wasn't cool I was just...scared." My words got caught in my throat trying to tell him how I felt.

"I'm sorry If I hurt you." I sighed defeated, it was no use. If he didn't hate me before he definitely did now.

To my surprise, his door swung open revealing an amused Axel leaning against the door frame. I couldn't help but notice he was now dressed in his regular attire indicating he was leaving.

"See this is the bipolar tendencies I mention earlier," I stated, giving him a weird look.

"Come on." Axel rolled his at me and started walking towards the stairs.

"Huh?" I looked over at him confused.

"Let's go Mia." He said slowly as if I was dumb.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked him, the last time I went with him things didn't end well.

"Stop asking so many questions and come on." He said irritably.

And against my better judgment, I found myself following behind him, I had absolutely no clue what I was getting myself into. My stomach bubbled with a strange feeling of uneasiness or was it excitement?

When we reached the bottom floor I was shocked when Axel held the front door open for me. I gave him a curious look, but he wouldn't look down at me.

"Don't tell me you're getting soft on me Deacon." I mocked him, smiling.

"Remind me not to do anything nice for you ever again." He grunted, amusement clear in his voice.

I quickly walked to Axel's car, the cold weather nipping at my bare skin. I could tell it was becoming late afternoon because the sky was swirling with shades of pink and orange.

I got into the car and listened to the quiet rumble as it came to life. There was a thick tension between us as we sat in silence, Axel was focused intently on the road.

"It's not polite to stare," Axel said, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"What do you know about polite?" I teased.

" Touché." He smirked.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"Downtown," he answered simply.

What are you up to Axel Deacon?

"We're not doing something for gang right?" I questioned, feeling nervous.

"No, it's just going to be us, Angel." He said quickly calming my anxiousness.

"Hey, Axel?" I looked over at him.

"What do you want?" He muttered.

"About what you said earlier, the whole putting both our necks at risk. What did you mean by that?" I wondered out loud.

Axel let out an annoyed sigh, I was certain he wasn't going to tell. He never tells anything I want to know. I guess it's like a common bad boy code or something. My eyes widen when I saw his pink lips part to speak.

"Noah is a leader of a different gang and since I kicked his ass the day he forced himself on you he has been sending his guys after me ever since. The guy at the warehouse was one of his men and since you being your stubborn self-had to open the door they now realize that you are associated with me." He spoke and I swear I saw a flash of regret come across features but it was quickly replaced with a blank stare.

"I'm so stupid," I whispered under my breath.

Why did I have open that door? Why couldn't I just listen to what Axel had said?

"Don't beat yourself up, you thought you were doing the right thing. No matter how stupid it was." His voice slicing through the tension that was almost suffocating me.

"Does Camila know what Noah does in his free time?" I wondered.

"Yeah, she does." His grip on the wheel tightened.

"And you haven't you tried to stop it?" I knew I was slowly pissing him off with my questions but I couldn't stop myself.

"Of course I tried Mia! But that girl is more stubborn than you! Camila won't listen to anything I say! She thinks she can change him or whatever." Axel snapped at me.

Deciding it was time to shut up I felt the heavy atmosphere that settled in the car. I looked out the window trying to distract myself, I was trying to soak in all the scenery as I could, the streets lights were illuminating my face as drove passed them. The sun had already set and darkness was creeping into the sky, the stars were already making themselves visible.

I was lost in observing the unfamiliar area it startles me when Axel takes a sudden sharp turn into a creepy side road and shuts off his car. There was only one light pole halfway down the street but other than that it was completely dark. I looked over at Axel like he was crazy, I thought we weren't doing any gang-related stuff? My heart started beating faster by the second.

"You look like I'm about to kill you or something." Axel's laughter rang in my ears.

"Are you?" I swallowed hard.

"Get out the car Mia." The humor left his voice as he shut the door.

Looking over my options I could either sit here in the car all by myself with nothing but an eerie quietness as a company in a random part of town I've never been too or my other option was to follow Axel blindly to who knows where.

Quickly making my decision, I pushed the car door open and got out. I saw Axel open his trunk and pull out a large black duffel bag, he pushed the trunk lid down forcefully clicking it into place.

"What's in the bag." I give him the third degree, never taking my eyes off the bag.

"Follow me and find out." His eyes locked with mine, there was a mysterious shine in them.

With that Axel started walking down the pothole-filled street, and of course, I chased after him. I could hear sirens going off in the background, probably a few streets back on the main road. The farther we walked down the ominous back alley the more agitated I felt. On either side of the road was what looked like old abandon buildings, that were probably once very occupied with life.

Without warning Axel stops walking and throws the duffel bag until the hard ground, he then nods to me, signaling for me open it. I gave him a weird look but didn't say anything. I bend down and open the bag, investigating the contents of it.

"Paint?" I looked up at Axel, holding a can of spray paint.

"What are we going to do with paint?" I asked confused.

"Whatever you want." He shrugs grabbing a black can, shaking it before popping off the lid and drawing on the brick building in front of me.

"You do know that's illegal right?" I informed him.

"It's also fun." He states.

"Don't tell me you're too much of a good girl to have fun." He smirks at me.

I huffed out loud, I know how to have fun! I stood up straight with another can of black paint in my hands, I'll show him who doesn't know how to have fun. I shook the can and started painting randomly on the building, a few feet away Axel so I had enough room. The only light we had was the single lamp post behind us.

The sound of paint being sprayed filled the air around us, I was actually surprised by how much I was enjoying myself. It was peaceful and calm, despite it being a dark alley. I couldn't really concentrate however because Axel's dark eyes were on me the entire time I painted, a shiver ran up my body under his stare.

"Are you cold?" He asked, his voice soft.

"A little bit." I lied.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Axel shake off his jacket before walking over towards me. He never took his gaze off of me in the progress.

"Here." He says, holding open the jacket for me.

I was about to kindly decline and tell him I'm fine but I decided not to fight him for once. I sat the now empty can of paint onto the ground and put my arms into the jacket that Axel was still holding for me. The leather jacket was big and baggy on me and Axel's aroma quickly filled my nose. I smiled up at him as a thank you.

"Who is that?" He asked, looking at the painting I drew.

I looked up at the woman I had made, she had long flowing hair and a loving smile on her face. Her eyes were kind and patience just I remember them to be and she wore a loose white blouse and black pants.

"My mother," I muttered, trying not to get emotional. This was actually what she looks like in the picture I had back at the house.

"She's beautiful." I heard Axel whisper from beside me.

"Yeah, she is." I agreed.

I then looked over at what Axel had drawn. It's was a spade, like the ones you see on the game cards and underneath it was the initials B.S.

"BS?" I noted about loud.

"Stands for Black Spades." He spoke.

"Is that the name of your gang?" I already the answer.

"Yup." He said, popping the "p".

I laughed slightly at him that sounded so weird for a gang name.

"What's so funny?" He huffed.

"Nothing I just wasn't expecting it." I continued to laugh.

"Oh yeah? Then what were you expecting?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Greasers, Serpents, Hell Boyz, Diablo, literally anything else." I listed out.

"Shut up." He groaned, a small smile plastered on his face.

Out of nowhere Axel's head quickly snapped towards the direction of the car.

"Shit." He cursed.

"What?" I asked, looking in the same direction.

That's when I saw the cop car parked behind Axel's Mustang in the distance. There were two officers with flashlights examining the car. A sinking feeling hit my stomach, luckily the cops still hadn't noticed our presence down the road.

"What do we do now?" I hissed at Axel.

"I hope you're a fast runner." He smirked before taking off down the street.

My jaw nearly dropped, he just left me here!

"Hey get back here!" One of the officers yelled, running towards my direction. I looked back at Axel who was nearly at the end of the alley and was about turn back onto the busy streets.

Gaining control of my legs I chased after Axel, my heart was thumping out of control as the officer yelled for us to stop behind me.

When I finally made it the end of the road I turned the direction I last saw Axel running towards. My lungs were aching, not use to the exercise but luckily my legs were numb so I couldn't feel them burning.

My eyes quickly found Axel who was waiting for me about a block away, he was yelling for me to hurry and to run. I could hear the heavy steps of the overweight police officers getting closer and closer by the second.

I forced my body to run towards Axel, when I got close enough he grabbed my hand, there was a proud smile on his face. We ran as fast as we physically could around the block. and for some reason, I couldn't help the smile that worked its way on my face.

I was sweaty, in desperate need oxygen, my body was completely numb other than the hand that was in Axel's, I was scared out my mind and I felt like I was going to throw up, but I never felt more alive in my whole my life.

Small shops and convenience stores passed me in colorful blurs as we sprinted up the street. When we finally reached the end of the block, we both slowly came to a stop.

My own laughter rang in my ears and Axel smirked over at me, watching me.

"That was absolutely incredible!" I shouted.

"Did you see that officer fall trying to keep up with me?" I laughed harder, which didn't help my lack of air.

I could feel every cell in my body pulsing with excitement. My heart was going a mile a minute but I didn't care.

"Woah, calm down adrenaline junky." Axel laughed, shaking his head.

"You know, I should be mad at you," I stated.

"But for some reason I'm not, it's probably because of all the paint fumes, but I'm not mad," I spoke out loud.

"Remember you said if we get caught." Axel laughed. The sound of his laugh made me smile, it was contagious. It was sweet and genuine, two words I wouldn't necessarily use to describe Axel.

I watch as he peeked behind the building we were standing next too and looked where the car was parked.

"They're gone." He whispered.

A sigh of relief left my body and we slowly started watching back to Axel's car.

"Why didn't you do anything when I kneed you? I was ready for it. Heck, I already had my grave inscription thought out." I blurted out.

Suddenly Axel stopped walking and faced me, I froze as he stalked closer and closer until my back hit a random building.

I bit down on my bottom lip out of nervousness Axel automatically noticed and looked down at my lips, his dark eyes turning a shade darker.

"Do you think I'd hurt you, Mia." Axel's eyes jumped to my mine, looking at me with hurt now present. I automatically shook my head no, I was scared of Axel sure, but I honestly don't think he would hurt me.

"You need to stop doing that." He groaned, looking back down to my lips.

I quickly released my bottom lip letting it fall back into place. Axel eyes never left them, and I found a part of me wishing for him to put his lips on mine.

Oh, look how the tables have turned.

I felt his lips get closer to mine and my body shook with anticipation. I swallowed hard and my breathing hitched when I felt his lips brush against mine.

Do it, kiss me.

Just when his lips where about to touch mine and I could already practically taste his lips an aggravate sigh left his mouth and he pulls away and starts walking towards the car.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" I basically threw a tantrum out of frustrated.

I wanted you to kiss me.

"I guess you caught me in a moment of redemption." He looks backs to tell me before getting into his car.

I didn't say anything and slowly walked to his car in disappointment. What's going on with me? Disappointment? I'm actually disappointed because Axel didn't kiss me? Who even are you anymore Mia?

The ride home was quiet other than the radio that Axel turned on to make the situation less awkward. I don't understand how literally hours before Axel was wanting me to kiss him and now when there was the perfect opportunity he blew it! It doesn't make any sense.

When we pulled into the driveway I wanted nothing more than to run in my room in embarrassment. I'm not sure why I'm so upset about not kissing Axel. It's not like I liked him, that would be ridiculous. Also, there was no possible way he liked me.

Right when I was about to get out of the car and make my great escape Axel stopped me.

"Mia." His voice was strong.

"Axel," I repeated.

"What happened today, this doesn't make us friends." He smirked at me.

"I wouldn't dream of it." I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face.

Axel Deacon is going to be the death of me.

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