Happy Holidays, guys!

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To MrSanguine, hello there. Sorry for this late review. 

The holidays have made me lazier than usual. Anyways, here is your requested book review. Note that this is merely a summary of my initial opinions as another reader of your work, so take my comments with a grain of salt.

This review took a while because when I checked out your book again, the first chapters were taken down because you were still rewriting them, I suppose.

Moving on to the general critique...

COVER: 

really nice text effect and font choice;

mysterious colors and the background image suited the story's genre, setting, and themes

BLURB/SUMMARY:

the blurb was effective and well-written;

 definitely hooks the reader in;

the premise it presented made me want to click on the 'READ' button

1st Chapter:

Great, realistic imagery and impressive scene-setting right off the bat. The narrative voice is established right from the beginning. 

The second paragraph needs some edits. The sentence structures could be varied in this part.

The way you used this format: 

DEPENDENT CLAUSE, + INDEPENDENT CLAUSE 

kind of disrupted the narrative flow. I suggest you rephrase a few of the sentences. The words 'aroma' and 'seduced' didn't quite go with the rest of the descriptive phrases, too. Maybe keep the dark thematic tone consistent. IDK. Just an opinion.

In the other paragraphs, you used the same sentence structure one time too many. Maybe some parts could be revised to change up the narration from time to time. 

Overall, the prose was effective and well-written, and I didn't come across glaring errors or grammar issues.

Some minor corrections:

...than live uncomfortably in Heaven. (typo)

and I chuckle to myself—  (an em dash would be more appropriate than a hyphen since you're indicating a break in thought)

Breathing, I check to see if there *are* any randoms   (typo)

aren't too bad—they're just   (em dash)

doesn't do much, either. (missing comma)

Damn. I need to oil the hinges. (or you could use another dash to indicate a pause)

probably in his early forties (no hyphen needed)

that's already happened—I need to focus (em dash again)

"Face it; you aren't getting

Charlie won't help; it'll do nothing except

(a semicolon would be more correct instead of the commas)

"Isn't illegal, either." (comma needed)

viewpoint of illegal could be different. "What type of job?"  (no paragraph break needed since it's still Darius speaking)

Kraken's pocket—must be the reason...  (dash)

"Sure. When do I speak to Kraken?" (full stop needed)

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I may have missed a few more but I'm confident further rewrites will sort out all the kinks. Some parts with consecutive chunks of narrative paragraphs and the lack of dialogue kind of disengaged me from reading through everything, but I guess it's just my short attention span talking again.

 This review is short and not so in-depth since  I can tell from the first parts alone that you're not new to writing.  I'm intrigued to find out about Darius' background and what will come off his plans to take up the delivery job, and I was curious enough to read on to find out more about Kraken. 

All in all, you're good at character development and first person narration. Third person Past tense POV is my preference but your writing held my attention longer than most action fics I've come across on here.

Keep up the nice work.

Good luck with the next chapters!

Your friendly critic,

M