The Beauty in Darkness

Word Count: 4,802

The Beauty in Darkness

The blinding lights across the stage illuminate the whole stadium. He can hear the overwhelming cheers coming from the crowd. Unconsciously, a smile formed unto his lips upon seeing the scenery in front of him. It was not his first time seeing this kind of crowd, but every time he performs on stage, he always felt the same hype and energy as if it was his first time.

All of the lights coming from his fans’ light sticks have made his heart full of love and gratitude. The fans were his salvation. Whenever his passion for singing and writing songs are drifting away, the love from his fans and the music itself heals his soul and helps him drive all of his worries away. In the stage, he creates a new identity; someone who isn’t him. He owns the stage as a musician who enjoys performing music and making everyone happy.

“You’ve been blown by the wind towards me and my heart that’s been shouting and yearning from you…” His mellow and comforting voice can be heard all throughout the whole place. He can hear his fans singing along with him. As he continue to sing his hit song, he can only feel nothing but gratitude for the people that loved him all throughout his journey as a singer.

He started to make singing as a profession when he joined a survival show. There were several people that he battled with, and at the end he was proclaimed as the victor. He became popular at the show, and since then, he decided to make money from his passion, singing. He never regretted his decision. Not even once.

“Thank you, Araneta! This is once again a lovely night, and I am happy that I was able to share my music to all of you once again. I love you, guys. See you next time!” And with that, the crowd cheered.

It all happened so fast. He was smiling all throughout the duration of his speech, solely focused with the warm applause and cheers coming from his fans. He was not aware of the tragedy that was about to happen. Loud shrieks filled up the whole stadium, causing him to be alert; but he was a minute too late.

The shreds of glass coming from the stage lights were up in the air; slowly and painfully awaiting its downfall. Fiere heard the noise coming from above. It was his mistake to look up and seek the source of the noise. His numbed senses didn’t help him to do anything at all. All he did was to look up and embrace everything. The shreds of the glass went to his eyes. A massive pain started kicking in, and then everything went black.

---

Fiere woke up from the nightmare. He was restless and his heavy panting can be heard inside the small room. How he wish for everything to be nothing but a dream, but it wasn’t the case. The vividness of his dream, and the excruciating pain he felt when the broken pieces of the glass pricked his eyes were too realistic. It has been two years since that unfortunate event happened, and since then, he never had the guts to create music and step on the stage once again.

Every day, he’s been living in hell. His dreams kept on reliving that particular day which altered the way his life was going. He turned his back from everyone ever since that day; from his fans, the management, the company, his family and most especially, to his own self. He never held his guitar nor written any songs. He feared that when he do so and perform on stage, it will only lead him to another tragedy.

He groaned when a familiar feeling of pain struck his being. Hurriedly, he went to his bedside where his drawer is currently placed and started touching anything that his hand could touch. When he felt like he got the right thing that he wanted to have, he opened it and popped some pills towards his mouth. His doctor has given him medicine in case nausea or pain kicks in his system. It never really happened every day but most of the time he feels that familiar pain; it messes up with his system and tries to ruin his sanity.

He stood up from the bed and went towards the clock. He pressed the button, making the clock speak of the time. It was five in the morning, and he’s got nothing to do. Two years ago, at times like this, he spends his time flicking the strings of his guitar and singing a song with whatever melody comes into his mind. But it was now long forgotten; the dreams he once had and the smile that his fans once has been now painted as memory inside his mind.

At this time of the day, he doesn’t have anything to do other than freeing his mind from stress and anxiety, and sharpen his own senses with the help of nature. Slowly, he walked towards the terrace where his usual spot is located. He let the breeze of the cold wind make its contact with his skin. The smell of the fresh leaves made him at peace.

He was pulled out of his own bubble when a sudden knock from the door interrupted his own trail of thoughts. Frowning, he walked towards the noise. For two years, he managed to master everything within his surroundings. With the help of his maids and butlers, he memorized every detail of his house. Though sometimes, he often reprimand his helpers for being so reckless and for ruining the order of the room. He sometimes ends up with bruises and cuts when they do mistakes.

“Come in.” The sound of the door’s slowly opening has reached his ears. He can’t help the frown from his eyebrows once he heard the footsteps of the intruder. It was light and unlikely. He never heard this kind of steps, although it sounds familiar. It was the type he would most likely be easy to forget.

“Who are you?” The strict and direct tone from his voice is visible in anyone’s ears.

“I don’t know if you remember me, but---’’

“I do not remember you.” His flat tone made the girl cringed.

“Your butler told me that it would be hard to fit myself in your schedule, that’s why it took me a long time to meet you.” She bit her lip as she receives no response from him. “I am Jasmine. I was your personal assistant two years ago.”

“You are no longer my assistant. I ended up my career a long time ago, and I do not wish to remember you. You may go.” He motioned the door.

“But…Fiere, if you may allow, I would like you to return on stage and help you create music once again. I will help you in any way---“

“STOP!” He can’t help but to shout upon hearing the girl’s persuasion. He gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw. Anger is visible upon his face. When the girl made no move, he spoke. “I don’t know if you know this, but I do not want to be involved in music once again. Five years is enough. I do not wish to be affiliated with it once more.” His mouth is set in grim line.

“No one can turn their backs from passion, Fiere. You once made music as your world and revolved your own life into it. You can never forget something that has a big influence into your life. It’s not that easy. One day, you’ll look for your lost passion once more…and I will make sure that you, yourself are going to be the one who will look for it. Goodbye for now.” The retreating steps coming from the girl’s shoes were slowly drifting away. Fiere made no move to stop her. Soon, he was left alone once again.

---

Jasmine could not count how many times she has already knocked her own head on the table. It was such a stupid idea, coming to Fiere’s house and urging him to go chase his forgotten passion. The moment that she left his cabin, all the tension left her system. She was shaking and her mind felt anxious of the encounter.

It was the management’s idea to use her to persuade Fiere in returning to the industry. She alone has thought that it will not be an easy task. Someone who has left the music industry with his wounded eyes and anxious heart can never go back to the stage and perform the same way that he did during his glory days. But it was his passion that she once loved, and she would gladly offer her help to him even though she’s not that sure if she can be of help.

She once saw Fiere in a show. Her brother was one of the contestants that Fiere battled with in the survival show. It was a clean fight, and Fiere won it. His songs were of his own which made him different from everyone else. It clearly gave him the edge and advantage among others. His passion for singing was unforgettable, and the way he sang was comforting; like a lullaby leading you to a sweet dreams and a land you can never forget. She started pursuing singing since then, but then odds were not in her favor. She just found herself as Fiere’s assistant instead of her, pursuing her dreams.

She can’t help but to make a face. He doesn’t even remember her! What a jerk! Given that it is understood somehow, due to his hectic schedules and numbers of assistant, but why hasn’t he remember me? Has he not thought of the sandwiches I brought every time he does his pre-concert routine? She pouted. Well, okay. Maybe she was really that easy to forget, but she will make it different somehow.

She stared at the paper at her hand once again and smiled bitterly. This will be her last chance to prove herself that she can still make her dream inclined with music, possible. There won’t be any chances given to her after this. That is why she has decided to give everything. She will bring back the passion and love for music that Fiere has once lost.

“No.” He said this with finality.

“No? But why?” She almost whined. Her plan was perfect; persuade him, make him feel bad, visit him and convince him to go to a trip. There was no fault in her plan except she forgotten how hardheaded Fiere is. It has been two weeks since she came up with a plan. Every day, since the first day that she visited him, she always makes sure that she allots a time to visit him in his abode. She pesters him every now and then and convince her to go back and perform on the stage.

“I just don’t want to.” He responded. “And how did you even get inside my house without my permission?” His furrowed eyebrows are now set on a straight line.

“I went through the door.” She sarcastically replied. “I have the access to go in and out of your house because the management has sent me to bring you back.” He offered no response. “Fierre, please. It wouldn’t hurt you to accept my offer. It was just a trip and nothing else. I promise. I wouldn’t take it too far. I have my own pace.”

He disregarded her statement and changed the topic. “Did you go here in your own initiative or did the management force you to be here?” If it was possible to see the lines forming the frown on his forehead, Jasmine is sure that it is possible to see it from her eyes. He looked more serious than he was before.

“Of course, there is that part which I was told to bring you, but on the other hand, it was also my initiative to help them bring you back.” Even though Fiere wasn’t able to see her, she sure hoped that he can at least feel her sincerity as she convey those words that she longed to say.

He remained unmoving. He rested his back on the sofa, still pondering her words. Slowly, he went back from his position and spoke, “Where’s the place?”

---

He was told to sit still and don’t move. Jasmine was out there looking for something while Fiere’s stuck on his foot, frozen, unable to do anything. It was not his usual crowd and he was not familiar with the surroundings. All he can hear is the sound of cheers and music playing somewhere inside the place.

“Are you enjoying this place?” Jasmine whispered at Fiere, causing him to flinch. Her warm breath touched his earlobe.

“Do I look like I’m enjoying?” His sarcastic remark didn’t go unnoticed. But instead of angry rebuttal, he was surprised to hear her laughing.

“I thought so. Do you want to perform on stage?”

He caught his breath. “I’ve told you a million times. I don’t want to---”

“---be afflicted with music. Yeah, yeah. I knew it. I’m just pushing my luck. Besides, you can hardly call it a stage. It’s small, compared to the stage that you are used to.” Fiere do not know why her voice sounds so seductive all of a sudden. It was as if his strong defiance and will to remain hidden to avoid any kinds of tragedy was starting to waver.

“Describe the stage.” Even though he cannot see Jasmine clearly. He was certain that his statement do shocked her. He wasn’t sure why he was letting this woman invade his privacy, and sway his decision to forget his passion.

“Well… I’m not that good with description, but let’s see. The stage’s shaped in circle. There’s one mic stand on the stage and a seat. Well, it looks like a typical stage for me. This one’s the stage for the beginning singers. Those who do gigs on the bar and such. But anyway, I’m just joking. I know that you are still not ready to sing, so I won’t push my luck anymore. At least not as of this moment.” He remained silent.

“Why did you bring me here? “ He can’t help but to ask her.

“You’ll see.” She answered mysteriously.

Minutes later, he can hear different sounds. People has gathered at the stage. The band started arranging their instruments and moving towards their position. Curious, Fiere sat properly and absorb the sounds.

“Good evening, everyone. Tonight, we have a special guest. My sister coerced me to perform for this particular man. I don’t know what she’s planning to do, but well.” He laughed after he said that. “I don’t know if everyone knew, but I was once a part of the survival show where Fiere once joined. He won the contest fair and square. I was sad that I lose, but glad that I was able to join the show and had a battle with him. He won fair and square. I started to lose my passion right after that. I was lost. I didn’t know what to do after that. My passion for singing was slowly drifting away from my grasp. Luckily, my sister was there. She told me that not many people can sing. Those who can should share their talent to everyone and inspire people with music. I was in a dilemma after that, but after hearing her words, it pulled me out of trance and took me here. Well, enough said. Here’s a composed song of mine. Enjoy listening.”

The upbeat sound of the guitar can be heard all throughout the resto bar. It took all of the amount of energy for Fiere to stop humming and bobbing his head from the music. His body was well acquainted with the melody that he can’t stop himself from moving. He was a little bit startled when he learned that Jasmine’s brother was a musician. She never really told him about that.

“Why didn’t you tell me that your brother was a singer?”

“Well…for the record, we do not really tell each other the story of our lives and so on. But yeah, he is a singer and you are about to listen to his songs. So…” She shushed him, making him quiet.

“Now my heart isn’t with me ‘cause you stole it. You locked it up with your heart inside your pocket. I used to hate you since forever, now I vowed to love you ever, baby. Now my heart isn’t with me ‘cause you stole it. You locked it up with your heart inside your pocket. I used to build dreams with her baby, but then you made me crazy, oh yeah. My heart is yours, now I’m heartless.” The upbeat tune of the song was delivered all throughout the duration of the music. Fiere can’t help but to tap his foot along with the music. Jasmine saw this, but didn’t tease him or anything. Her lips were pulled upward and a smile was formed right after that.

The heavy passion of Jasmine’s brother clouded the whole resto bar. One would be a fool if they cannot feel it, regardless of their talent and all. He was able to use music to channel his energy and make everyone happy; the same way Fiere dreamed to become.

---

For several weeks, Jasmine did nothing but to take Fiere in many trips. First was the resto bar, the next was the church where the choir was practicing. They made him hear of their angelic voices and passionate singing offered to the Lord. He was then brought to the school, where the elementary kids where having a program for their nutrition month. They were singing their hearts out. Their composed songs about the vegetables were fun to listen. It was as if their song was talking with the person listening to it.

“This will be the last.” Fiere looked shocked as she spoke those words. He didn’t get it earlier but it was fun having Jasmine surprised him about a trip.

“Last?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I plan on resting after this. I don’t really want you to feel obligated to join me just because I pushed you to your limits and all. I am not really going to force you to go back in stage. I just want you to bring your old passion back, and maybe then you’ll be the one initiating to make a music.” He was silent after that. He didn’t want to admit it but she does have a point. Passion can never be forced unless someone has it, and has the will to nurture it. In his case, he was still starting to regain his love for music but is nowhere near the condition to perform.

Too many voices can be heard throughout the place. Loud cheers and shrieks. It was all too familiar. He didn’t know why Jasmine even let him put on sunglasses just so he could go to this trip. As he was seated, he was surprised to hear the music coming from below. It was the newbie artist two years ago. He was not that good in singing, but he was popular in acting.

“You see…” Jasmine trailed. “Not many people possess the passion the same way you have. Some of them uses their popularity just so they can say for themselves that they are a musician, even though they are not. People are blinded with their light, but those who really loved the music will never appreciate a musician who sings without any ounce of passion; and that is what you possess. Your overwhelming passion has drawn everyone with your music. It was not your looks that played the role of your popularity, but the way you make your own music with your heart.”

Every word that Jasmine uttered pierced Fiere’s heart. It was impossible not to listen to her every word for he knew that she spoke of the truth and is willing to help him bring back his passion to sing; erase his fears and face each day without regrets.

“I won’t be going back and visit your house. This will be our last meeting. Do not contact me nor look for me. When the time comes that you has gathered your will to sing, come and find me. But I hope that you will not be too late.” Fiere wasn’t able to decipher her last words but he just nodded at her and looked ahead.

---

It has been three months since Jasmine visited his place. Every day, he longs to contact her and made her butler call Jasmine for him. But, the promise that he once agreed to Jasmine hasn’t left his mind. If he gathered his wit, that will only be the time that he can find Jasmine and allow her to help him perform on stage.

He called his butler and told him to bring her where Jasmine lives. He immediately went to the car with the assistance of his stick and the instructions of his butler. When he was seated, his butler handed a handkerchief and put it into his hand. Frowning, he asked him. “For what reason did you gave me this?” His butler offered him no response. Confused, he lied on his back and think of anything.

When the car stopped, the butler assisted him on going out. Slowly, he paved his way towards the place where Jasmine lived. He can feel the serene atmosphere covering the whole place. Minutes later, they stopped. He felt even more confused when the butler handed him a jar.

“What is this? And where is Jasmine? She told me to find her once I gathered my will to sing.” He whispers. “Jasmine, I’m here! You can go out from where you are hiding!” His voice cracked at the end. He held the jar tightly, slowly understanding the situation. He bit her lip, unable to suppress his cries of agony. Beads of tears started falling down from his eyes towards his cheeks. His butler hurriedly went to his side and wiped away his tears.

“Three years ago, Jasmine was diagnosed with CNS Lymphoma. A disease where the cancer cells developed and spread in the lymph. It was not yet severe at that time. She can still do her everyday routine. But during the years that you took your break, the effect of her disease became severe. She did nothing but to listen to your songs even though you stopped singing. It was your music that motivated her to live. She made it her goal to bring you back to the stage and sing your own songs as her way of paying back to you. Although she can’t hear you sing your songs anymore, I believe that she’s still here.” He can’t stop the tears from falling. He never thought that his songs has made such an impact to Jasmine.

“Jasmine wrote you a letter. Do you want me to read it for you?” He said nothing but nod. He wanted to know what words did Jasmine wanted him to hear.

“Dear Fiere, Three months ago, I asked your butler, Mr. Travis, to read this letter for you once you knew of the truth. As you are already listening to him, I assume that you knew of my death, and on the brighter side has gathered your will to sing and perform on stage. First of all, I would like to apologize for not letting you know of my condition. I already have CNS Lymphoma way before I came to you and ask you to go back as a musician. I made it my goal to bring you back because I loved how passionate you are about music. I know that you are still afraid of the things that are waiting to happen…afraid that you will once again be involve in a tragedy. But what is life without fear? How do someone live without taking any risk? At some point in your life, you will be forced to jump, close your eyes and forget everything. Now’s the time to do that. There are people out there who are still waiting for you to go back; for your music to emerge once again. Your music…make people live with your music and your passion. I am the living proof of your music. If it wasn’t for you, I will not be who I am now. I am glad that I could meet you and help you bring back what you lost. I am beyond ecstatic. I’m hoping for you to grant my wish for you to perform on stage and showcase your talent. I will always be here, listening to you wherever I am in. This is all I have to say. Stay healthy. May your career bloomed more than you deserve. If the world will grant me another lifetime, I would like to spend it all with you. I would like to be the only one to hear your music until we grow old. But I guess this lifetime isn’t meant for me. Nevertheless, I’m still happy that I met you even though it was a short and limited time to have. Fiere, you are my miracle. Love, Jasmine.”

If it was possible to cry a dam, Fiere’s eyes would be able to do so. His hurt was broken and crushed upon hearing Jasmine’s letter for him. He has always know that Jasmine cared for him, way too much to do. He sobbed, thinking of the trips that Jasmine planned just for his passion to be revive. He was beyond grateful for that.

He tightly hugged the jar where Jasmine’s remains are. He tried to offer a smile, hoping that Jasmine could see him, and then he spoke.

“No, Jasmine. You are my miracle.”

---

It was the usual crowd cheering for him. He can’t help but smile as he surveyed the whole place. For two years, he began singing and performing on stage once again. He spent months grieving for Jasmine. But upon realizing that Jasmine wouldn’t want him to be left in that state, he woke up from his depressed state and started writing songs with Jasmine in his mind. Several months after, he created an album and entitled it, “My. Miracle.” It surpassed his old albums and skyrocketed the charts. Although he was successful, there is still a part of him longing to see Jasmine and her comfort; her words and her scheduled trips for him. His memories of her will never fade for it has become a part of him.

“You made me brave with all the fears surrounding me. You made me think that everyone’s allowed to live so happily. Facing my fears to see a better part of me. Without you by my side, will things still be possible? Without you by my side, will I still be…unbreakable.”

He was showered with applause and appreciation as he sang his last song for the day. There may be times that he feel loneliness and sadness, but he always make sure to think of Jasmine’s words and avoid making himself look pathetic. Her sacrifices should not be wasted. He was not only singing for himself, but for Jasmine, as well.

His life was no rainbows nor sunshine. But Jasmine became his life, together with music. The beauty of music, Jasmine taught him of its importance. Once passion can never be erased with just a flick of tragedy. His will to continue singing and the way Jasmine pushed him to chase his lost desire for music has made it possible and helped him to become who he is now.

Two years ago, he faced his fears and had his eyes undergo surgery. The moment that his eyes were fixed, he asked for Jasmine’s picture. Upon gazing at her picture, he has come to realize that even though his blind eyes was not able to identify shapes and different faces, his heart was able to know beauty in the form of kindness. With her kind smile and eyes that can see through one’s soul, there is no doubt that Jasmine’s a gem.

He may lost Jasmine and found his passion in music, but he still knew that the both of them resides and is still living inside his heart. The beauty in darkness is the beauty of life and of Jasmine, both that will last for a lifetime. The miracles that only Jasmine can offer is still living. It is Fiere, himself, and his passion for music.