Chapter Six

Seated on a tree stump near the pond, Haven contemplated the past, the future and everything in between. Leaves swirled at her feet in a rhythmic dance of ascent and surrender, the result of an approaching fall. Emery would arrive soon to drive her to town for lunch but until then, she intended to enjoy the beautiful day.

Her gaze wandered to the resident pair of loons swimming in the pond, intent on snaring a meal of frogs and snails. In between dives, they communicated through a series of throaty hoots and staccato tremolos.

According to Emery, this particular pair had nested near the creek for several years, producing two offspring every spring. Their heirs hung around for a time and then had struck out on their own, searching for their own mates. Since loons mated for life, she wondered what would happen if tragedy struck and killed one. Would the lone survivor spend his days floating up and down the stream, yodeling a mournful wail until the end of his days?

She had mated for life, or so she thought. Visions of the day she married rose behind her eyelids. The Methodist Church in Guilford was filled to capacity with family, friends and neighbors. She walked down the aisle on her father's arm, never taking her eyes off the man who waited for her near the pulpit.

A gown of cream-colored satin covered in Irish lace billowed about her. A wreath of golden yarrow and baby's breath sat atop her head, and in her hands, she carried a bouquet of wildflowers. She heard Matthias' voice now as clearly as she had that day. 'You are a vision of beauty, wife.'

When the last guest had left the celebration, they traveled by wagon to their new home in Guilford. Matthias carried her across the threshold and into the bedchamber. After easing her down to the bed, he lay down beside her and pulled her into his arms. Their giddy laughter had faded and passion took flight. His lips claimed hers in a fiery kiss, arousing a desire she couldn't dismiss.

She saw everything in her mind now, his broad chest and the soft, dark down covering it, the muscles of his forearms flexing as he loomed above her, his mouth hovering over hers, whispering, “I love you; I love you.”

She jumped when Emery's voice interrupted her dreams. "Thought I might find you out here."

Bringing a hand to her chest, she looked up. "You startled me."

"I should have spoken up sooner but the image of you sitting here near the water reminded me of a painting I saw once at the art museum in Chicago."

"You're from Chicago?"

He nodded.

God, don't let me fall apart. "Tell me about the painting."

"Wish I could remember the name, but it escapes me. In any event, I recall the young woman seated on a bench near the water. The letter in her hand was stained with blue teardrops as she looked out to sea, but didn't do justice to the sorrow in her fathomless green eyes. That's what I'll never forget."

Haven turned away from him and prayed for strength. She sensed Emery studying her, but couldn't stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks.

In a heartbeat, she felt his presence beside her. He knelt on the ground and took her hand. "I'm sorry, Haven." He slapped a hand to his forehead. "Every time I turn around, I put my foot in my mouth."

Between sniffles, she choked on the words. "It's not you, Emery. It's me. I've done a disservice to all of you by coming here. I thought I was ready, thought a new location would . . .."

"Would what? Talk to me, Haven."

"Make me forget, obliterate his face from my mind. I see him everywhere, in the ripples of the water, in the flames of the hearth, even…even in the clouds. My grief is sky deep, deeper than the darkest chasm, deeper than the widest ocean, blacker than the dead residing in Hell."

"I can only assume you're speaking of your husband. You must tell me what happened."

"No, I can't-can't make myself speak of it."

"I cannot help you unless you do, no one can. And you need to talk about it, face it or you might never overcome whatever it is that's leaving you paralyzed with grief."

"Everything died that day, a stupid horse named Champion that no one cared about except us, and Shep. Oh, Shep, the mongrel that just showed up one day as if he'd lived there all his life. No one wanted that orphaned scalawag apparently, but we loved him." She closed her eyes. "Matthias, staring at the dismal sky, blood seeping into the snow beneath his mangled body. He took the rifle with him but it never cleared the scabbard."

"A grizzly bear?"

Haven shook her head. "No, a bull. I loathed that animal, knew from the moment I looked into his soulless eyes, Matthias made a mistake in purchasing him." A shudder tore through her. "There he stood in that ice-encrusted battlefield, pawing at the ground, steam pouring from his snout. I pulled the rifle from the saddle. Head down, he charged and I fired, emptied the gun into his ugly head."

Emery handed her a hanky and she blew her nose.

"I knelt beside Matthias when the beast fell and realized he was never coming back, would never smile at me again or spoon his body into mine on cold nights. He would never keep me warm and safe again."

Pulling her into his arms, Emery ran a hand down the side of her head. "You're safe now, Haven, and you did the right thing coming here."

"Are you certain? Most days I'm not sure. I left because of the memories, everything reminded me of him. I thought-I thought if I removed myself from the familiar, I might have a chance." She whispered the words. "I'm scared, Emery, terrified the nightmares might never go away. I'm scared that for the rest of my life I'll see Matthias everywhere I look."

"And you feel guilty?"

She arched her neck back and looked into his eyes. "How did you know? I do feel guilt. Why did he have to die so young, why him, not me? I feel guilty about letting go, getting on with my life, and more guilt for wanting to."

"You loved him and he loved you. I think it's normal to feel guilt when you lose your husband to a tragic accident. I didn't know him but something tells me he would want you to go on with your life. Or, am I wrong about that?"

"No." She hiccoughed through another sob. "You're not wrong. I don't know anyone more kind than Matthias." She elbowed him. "Well, maybe you. Which brings me to my next question, however did I find you among millions of people in the world?"

"I'd have to say destiny since I don't believe in coincidences."

She narrowed her eyes. "You don't?"

"No."

"That's quite prophetic. Not sure I'm ready for that one yet."

"Good. In that case, are you ready for lunch because I'm about to eat the closest animal I can get my hands on."

She glanced toward the loons and he followed her gaze. "Don't you even think about it, Emery."

"Oh, all right. Perhaps another day then." He held out his hand and urged her to her feet. "Come on, let's head out."

* * *

The sky blazed a vibrant blue on the way to town. Haven put her face to the sun, determined to enjoy a day without the usual fog of smoke holding up the clouds.

A short time later, Emery reined in the team in front of the hotel. "I hope the food holds up under my boasting."

"A week of bragging, I remind you, and I hope so too since I'm famished."

Emery bounded from the seat, scurried around the horses and assisted her down. "Full house today but let's see if we can wind our way toward a table by the window."

They passed a varied lot of diners, store clerks, loggers, men in suits, and several tables of women with bags and packages at their feet.

A waiter appeared with a menu after they settled into their chairs. Haven ordered hot lemon tea and baked salmon smothered in cream sauce and almonds. Emery chose braised steak with skillet potatoes and black coffee.

Despite the mass of people, Haven spied Cade Kincannon across the room. He smiled at the attractive woman seated across from him and then nodded, fully engaged in whatever it was they were discussing. As if her thoughts could summon him, he looked in her direction with those gunmetal eyes and held her gaze. Even seated, he struck a commanding presence with his wide shoulders, handsome face and thick, brown hair.

Dear God, had he come to his feet? And walking toward them with that catlike agility?

He nodded at Emery and flashed a smile meant only for her with those straight, white teeth and that beautiful mouth. "Haven Morgan, nice to see you again."

She tried to act nonchalant against the wild beat of her heart. "Mister Kincannon."

He looked to Emery again. "What brings you to town today?"

"School begins soon and we have to pick up a few supplies yet."

He snapped his fingers. "That's right, the schoolmarm."

Haven visibly bristled. He meant to goad her, of course, with that rub. How she'd love to toss it back in his face. "That's such an outdated word, Mister Kincannon."

"I'm an outdated man in case you—"

"Oh, I noticed." She looked him over head to toe. "But my mother taught me to say nothing if I didn't have something nice to say."

"Touché," he said and bowed dramatically.

Emery made a valiant effort to ease the obvious tension suffusing the air. "How are things at the lumber yard?"

"Busy as usual this time of year. Two hundred loggers looking for work and stacks of paperwork."

After nodding at the woman having lunch with Cade, Emery continued. "Mare looks well. "

Haven had already assessed the woman but gave her a second look while Cade and Emery turned the conversation to business again. Dressed in an olive-green dress, trimmed with ecru lace at the wrists and neckline, Mare exuded elegance. She'd pulled her long, auburn hair into a chignon at her nape, with several loose wisps framing her oval face and delicate features. Her chocolate eyes were fringed in long, dark eyelashes, the perfect accent to her lush, pink lips. Taken on a whole, the woman oozed seduction.

Cade cleared his throat, jolting her back to the conversation. "Are you enjoying your new accommodations?"

With a smile, she nodded.

"And anxious for school to begin, I bet? If you nod again, I'll be forced to think you have a sudden case of laryngitis or you'd like me to go away."

"I don't have laryngitis, and yes, I am looking forward to the start of school."

"I'm happy you've taken her under your wing, Emery. After that incident on the train, I think she needs looking after."

"Yes, I heard about—"

Before Emery could finish, Haven cut him off. "At home, I didn't have to worry about being accosted by thugs. Perhaps it has something to do with the company you seem to keep, Mister Kincannon."

Sarcasm laced his words. "I thought we agreed on the train to toss out the Mister and Mrs. stuff?"

"Did we? In that case, forgive me. I was so intent on keeping my reputation intact I've forgotten what passed between us."

Emery again. "I'm afraid Haven got the wrong impression of Cobb's Grove. Maybe after lunch you could give her a tour of the lumber yard and saw mill."

She shriveled beneath his suggestion.

Cade glanced back to the table, to the woman he'd left moments ago. "Perhaps another day."

"We look forward to it." Emery smiled up at him. "Please give my regards to Mare."

He tipped his head in her direction. "Haven."

She stifled her irritation, or could it be something else lurking beneath her impenetrable façade? Jealousy would be unthinkable, and yet . . . "Good afternoon, Cade."

After nodding at Emery, he turned on his heels and walked away.

Looking at her from across the table, Emery's eyes widened. "What was that all about? I sensed a bucketful of friction between you."

"I don't care for the way he mocks me. You heard him say I needed watching over, and schoolmarm was clearly a jab. It makes me feel old and . . . and dowdy, especially next to the woman he's having lunch with." Especially since I'm wearing a plain, white cotton blouse and dull, black twill split-skirt.

"I think he was teasing you. Cade doesn't have a mean bone in his body."

She shrugged. "If you say so."

"For the record, the woman he's having lunch with is Mare Davenport. Her brother, Budge, works for Cade in the lumber camps."

Why should she care? Why did it bother her every time the woman raised a seductive brow or laughed at every word falling from his sensual lips? "Well, I'm tempted to walk over there and ask her if she has lint in her eye."

Emery emitted a belly laugh. "Why would you do that?"

"Because she won't stop batting her eyelashes at him."

Emery reached across the table and clutched her hand. "I'm glad we decided to have lunch today."

"You are? Why?"

"Because you're smiling again."

The waiter set their food down on the table, and hustled away.

"It has been nice." Haven picked up her fork. "Let's hope I think the same of the food."

She shifted in the chair so she could no longer see the lovebirds, although Emery seemed intent on continuing their prior conversation. "Mare and Budge's mother died when they were young, and their father was killed in a logging accident five years ago. They live near the main logging camp in one of Cade's cabins."

"One of his cabins?"

"Yes. He's built a dozen or so and rents them out to logging families who live here year-round."

"Let me guess. He gets the lumber at a discount?"

Emery gave a slow shake of his head. "I have no doubt. Cade is a shrewd business man, one of the wealthiest men in Cobb's Grove."

Haven raised her glass. "A toast and a change of topics. Here's to our first year of teaching together at the country school."

Glass clinked when Emery brought his to hers. "Here's to teachers everywhere."

Emery ordered a slice of lemon pound cake and two plates. The waiter topped off his coffee and her tea when he delivered dessert and dropped the tab on the table.

On the way out, Emery paused at Cade's table. "Don't forget about the dance Saturday night at Pratt and Charlotte's."

"I won't forget." He looked up at Haven. "Allow me to introduce Mare Davenport. Mare, this is Haven Morgan, the new teacher at the country school."

Haven offered her best smile. "Miss Davenport, pleased to meet you."

"And you, Mrs. Morgan." Even her smile was charming. "Cade told me about your unpleasant encounter on the train."

A sugary laugh preceded her words. "Really, I didn't find Mister Kincannon all that unpleasant."

A round of laughter made the rounds and seemed to break the icy barrier she'd erected between her and Cade.

Still smiling, Cade stood. "I look forward to more of your sharp wit on Saturday, Haven."

"Until Saturday, then," she said and bounced away on Emery's arm.

"This way to the mercantile for supplies. " Emery prodded her along. "After that, even I'm looking forward to Saturday night. I think Cade just met his match."

She dismissed thoughts of Cade while they stocked up on paper, pencils, chalk and text books, but thought about him again on the journey home.

She wondered if he'd bring Mare to the dance, and then wondered why the possibility bothered her.