Chapter 17

Rachael didn’t expect Graham to say a word to her all the way back to Baltimore. It was evident she’d pushed things too far by asking about Chell, something she should’ve known better than to do. Yet, it seemed like a natural question for someone who shouldn’t have known who the girl in the photograph on his desk was.

Maybe it wasn’t the question itself that was bothering him; maybe it was the fact that Rachael had said it seemed like he was single, or that he didn’t have a girlfriend, or however she’d phrased it. Was it possible he was upset because he didn’t want it to seem like he wasn’t attached anymore?

The landscape seemed to be flying by even faster on the way home, which made Rachael think perhaps he was in a hurry to be rid of her. She wouldn’t blame him if that was the case. So far, she’d been nosy and confusing, not two attributes one usually looked for in a new friend. Rachael tried to keep her attention outside of the sports car, but staring at the blurry images was making her a little nauseated, and the last thing she needed to do was ask him to pull over so she could puke.

“You can change the station if you want to.

Rachael raised an eyebrow. Her eyes had gone to the radio just as a new song had come on, something by CCR, though she wasn’t sure of the name. “Oh, no, that’s okay. I just needed to focus on something else.

The car slowed down slightly. “Sorry.

“It's no problem.” Here she was, saying something stupid again.

Graham didn’t push the accelerator any faster, despite her assurance that he could go as fast as he wanted to. By her calculations, they’d be hitting traffic soon enough anyway, and then he’d have to slow down. It was a little before rush hour, and she assumed one of his reasons for speeding was to drop her off before it hit. But then, he’d be stuck in traffic on the way back to Pennsylvania, so was there a point?

He cleared his throat like he intended to say something. Rachael didn’t dare look at him for fear she’d scare him into clamming up. A few seconds passed, a minute, and he didn’t speak. She considered pulling out her phone, but she doubted she could focus on the screen with the world flying by outside.

“If I was… a little rude back there… I didn’t mean to be.” He cleared his throat again, and Rachael hazarded a glance in his direction. His lavender eyes were narrowed in contemplation. “I’m not used to… being alone.

Weighing a response, Rachael considered what she actually knew and what she was supposed to know before she said, “I’m sorry if I was being nosy.

“No, it’s not that.” He looked at her briefly again before he continued. “I can’t blame you for asking, especially after….” He shook his head, and she imagined he was thinking of the flirting in the hallway outside of Jazz’s room. “Anyway, for the first time in about two years, I am unattached. I didn’t think I was acting any differently than I was when Chell was… around. But I guess I am, or at least I was today. It was just a little bit of an eye opener, that’s all.

“Perhaps I didn’t phrase my assessment of the situation very well,” Rachael said, trying to put the blame on herself. “It wasn’t as if I thought you were being too forward or anything like that. You just hadn’t mentioned a girlfriend… fiancee… so maybe I assumed you didn’t have one based on that.

“No, it was more than that.” He looked at her a little bit longer this time than he had before, perhaps long enough that a driver with less talent might have had an issue staying on the road. “I told you, Rach, it seems like I’ve known you a lot longer than I have. I can’t quite figure it out, but it’s got me acting a little more friendly than I normally would. I think I probably have a propensity to joke around with girls even when I am in a relationship, innocently enough, but no one ever seemed to take it seriously when they knew I was spoken for. I’m going to have to think about that a little more now. Clearly, I’ve done something to give Jazz the impression I’m looking to mingle.

Rachael chuckled softly, remembering how openly flirtatious the young girl had been. “I think she just likes to mess with you,” she assured him, thinking about lightly touching his arm but deciding that wasn’t a good idea after what he'd just said. “Everyone else on campus knows your situation, right? It’s just the new recruits who might get the wrong idea? And how many of us are female? I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

Graham shrugged slightly, considering her comment. “The others know the situation, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of getting the wrong idea.

Ignoring the fact that he was implying she’d gotten the wrong idea, which was a bit like a knife to the gut, Rachael said, “I’m sure you can set anyone straight who thinks your teasing is an invitation for more.

He nodded, and she assumed the conversation was over. Traffic ahead was building. Graham slowed his Ferrari so Rachael could manage looking out the window now.

She wasn’t expecting him to say anything else, so when he did, she focused in on his words without turning to look at him.

“It’s a dangerous job. No matter how hard we train, how careful we are, things happen.” He was quiet, and she stole a glance at him, wondering if she should prod him on. Wiping a hand across his jaw, he dropped his wrist back onto the steering wheel. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve been able to protect her.

“Chell?” Rachael kept her voice as soft and somber as she could, glad he was finally telling her what had happened and encouraging him to keep talking.

“Yeah. We were on a job in Pittsburgh. Usually too far for us to go, but the locals there needed our help. We got a call from a former student, Stan Rider. Chell wanted to go because rumor had it these vamps were not averse to turning kids. So we went. Took our A team. I was in a different part of the building, an old Victorian house that’d been standing empty for a while, when I heard her scream.” Tears glistened in Graham’s eyes as he recounted what Rachael had written, how she’d killed off the love of his life. “By the time I got there, it was too late.

“A vampire… killed her?” Rachael wasn’t sure if she should even say that word. How else could she phrase it? Murdered? Slayed? Ended?

But Graham nodded, unfazed. “Yeah. Caught her off guard and used a kitchen knife.” His face paled as he shook his head. The scene had been gruesome, and even though Rachael hadn’t intended to haunt him with images for the rest of his life when she'd written it, she understood how difficult it would be to shake the pictures out of his head. “I took him out. Didn’t do Chell any good, though. She took a few final breaths, said she loved me, and then… she was gone.

Rachael did put her hand on his arm then. She couldn’t help it. “I am so sorry.” He had no idea how sincerely she meant it.

A shrug and another swipe at his face, and Graham seemed to have pushed the thoughts away. “Thanks--it’s not your fault, obviously. But thanks.

Rachael raised an eyebrow. It was just as much her fault as it was the vampires--more so maybe. That wasn’t information she was about to volunteer, though. The idea that he would hate her if he ever found out the truth came to mind, and Rachael pulled her hand away from his sleeve, settling it in her lap.

Her readers had let her know right away that killing Chell Knight was a bad idea, that she couldn’t be replaced. Now, not only was she seeing the ramifications of her choices firsthand, she was trying to be that replacement herself. The whole idea was doomed to failure, but Rachael couldn’t see any alternative but to go along with it. The packet of papers thunked against her leg as Graham took a corner a little too quickly. It was a reminder that she was in this now, no turning back. The adventure, the new friends, the prospect of escaping to a new life were all perks, but the dangers were real as well. And Rachael was no longer in charge of writing this story. She couldn’t help but wonder if someone else was, and if so, would they be looking for revenge against her for taking out Chell?

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