First Encounter

Gene Yuan

“What is the one thing that you wished to have in your life but cannot have?”

It was a familiar question that caught my attention from arranging the books in the library where I hang out during my free time that I'm not writing. I remembered inscribing the same question in my notebook before I lost it somewhere. I don’t expect it to be given back to me since I never put my information on it, just in case it was found by anyone and read all the contents in that journal. It is just a simple black notebook filled with my rants in life and worthless works.

I walked towards the adjacent room and take a peek at the glass window to watch the radio club while they do their broadcast. Due to their popularity, they got to have their club room inside the library since it is the largest room in our school. Every Thursday noon, they get to broadcast three letters from the students who wanted to confess, rant, or just tell random stories about themselves without disclosing who they are. And this is what I like about my school, they give us freedom.

The freedom that I don’t have the privilege to have.

“A few days ago, I saw a lonely notebook sitting in an empty classroom. I could still remember the scenery from that one afternoon. The window is wide open where the white curtain gently dances with the wind. The weather is so nice to take a short nap. And at a table near the window, there I saw the notebook waiting for me to pick them up, waiting for me to save them, or maybe it was only there because the owner forgot to bring them back. Normally, I don’t really give a damn about lost things like that, or rather say, I usually ignore things that are not mine. But not this old yet well-kept notebook. Call me crazy, but I know that it was meant to be found by me.”

I smiled when I heard the continuation of today’s letter. I have decided to sit at an empty table near the window and listen more to that person’s letter. I am now sure that the notebook they found is mine. However, as I said earlier, I am not afraid that my identity will be disclosed. Nevertheless, I still want to hear their thoughts. The sender’s thoughts about my worthless view of the world we live in. Their thoughts about the real me.

“I am apologizing in advance to the owner of the notebook because I read everything that is written on it. And to be honest, it kept me up all night. It was amazing.” The DJ commented on the sender’s cliffhanger remarks. It was too late to stop the soft laugh that escaped my lips which caught the attention of the student sitting across me that is also listening to the broadcast.

I feel embarrassed upon recognizing the amusement in his eyes. Well, anyone would be amused if they saw the lone wolf laughing at some letter that is broadcasted all over the campus. I avoid his entertained gaze and continued listening, but for some reason, I couldn’t help glancing at him. Or rather, glancing at his heterochromatic eyes. They looked hypnotizing as if calling you out to stare more, to admire them more.

Fortunately, I got back to my senses when the student DJ continued reading today's letter.

“Correction, there is one particular question that kept me awake all night. What is the one thing that I wished to have but cannot have? It is a simple question but anyone would find it hard to answer. We do want a lot of things that we cannot have right away. For some it might be wealth, the others might want to achieve the greatest happiness and mostly wanted to experience true love. I’m not bragging, but I might sound like one because I have everything that normal people wanted to have. I am wealthy, I am good looking, I am smart, and a lot of people like me.” The DJ commented about what the sender revealed about themselves. However, the students with the same description are quite a lot in different years. And the student sitting across from me is one of them.

I smiled sadly. I too have everything that a normal person wanted to have in life but I still feel empty. And the reason is that I don’t have that one thing that I’ve been wishing to have since long ago aside from being normal.

”Well, I thought I have everything. Not until I notice the faint watermark on every page of the notebook. It says, Freedom. It is kind of hard to read because the characters are written in Baybayin, a Philippine script.”

My heart races uncontrollably. I did not expect that person to be observant that they even noticed my watermarks; the only thing that will identify me as the owner of the notebook because I put watermarks in all of my things. Even my phone has a faint watermark of the word ‘freedom’ on its case. Nevertheless, I am still confident that they wouldn’t find me that easily.

“After careful contemplation with myself, I come up to a conclusion. I guess there is one thing that I wanted to have but cannot have. Just like the owner of that notebook, I am not truly free. Being a member of a well-known family, I am not free from the eyes of the people who are patiently waiting to drag me down. People who are patiently waiting for me to make a mistake. And I am expected to be like my mom. I am expected not to disgrace our family’s name. People want me to do the things they expect me to do. Which is why I guess…the thing that I wanted to have but cannot have is Freedom.”

A sad smile escaped my lips. They are just like me. Tightly chained by responsibilities. Locked in a room filled with people’s expectations of you. With that thought, I stood up and left the library with a heavy heart. I took a new notebook from my locker and went to the unused classroom that I used to hang around in to write my thoughts about my life and the cruel world. The overwhelming reality.

I am expecting it to be empty but the student from earlier was there, sitting in my favorite spot near the widely opened window. My heart races annoyingly at the sight of him while staring at the tangerine-colored sky. I only know him by face because our gaze always meets whenever he passes by in this classroom that I often use when I want to write something or just want to be alone.

I wouldn’t deny the fact that the reason why I won’t avoid his gaze is because of his heterochromatic eyes. One of his irises is as dark as the night and the other is amber-colored. It was complemented by his not-so-thick nor thin eyebrows. I bet a lot of people are mesmerized just by looking at his eyes like they are being enchanted.

Nonetheless, he is already good-looking even with normal eyes. His aquiline nose is perfectly matched to his sharp features as if they are well-sculpted by some outstanding sculptor. His bow-shaped lips that are always curved with a flashy smile can make anyone fall. And his well-proportioned body, painted with a masculine color is what I envy the most. His muscles are already in their right places even though we have the same age. Compared to him, I looked rather pale and skinny. And he looked even manlier in his neck-length, man bun-styled, jet-black hair.

“You came.” He said in a friendly tone, wearing a rather ambiguous smile on his lips. He walked towards me and handed me something. My eyes widened when I saw my lost notebook. “I may not have it now but I will make sure to get the freedom that I wanted. It’s what I wanted to tell you when I hand ‘freedom’ over.” He said talking about my notebook that he even gave a name.

I giggled. “You’re weird. But how can you be so sure that this is mine?”

He bashfully smiled while rubbing his ear with his thumb and pointer finger. “Instinct?”

I shook my head and was about to leave when he grabbed my thin wrist. “I’m always watching you so I know that it is yours.” I looked at him and my gaze went to his warm hand that is holding my wrist.

“Why?” I looked back at him to meet his gaze.

“Because you’re intriguing. You are like a lone wolf. Just like the girls in my class says. I got curious so I took a peek and the rest is history. But I’m not up to anything weird, alright? I just wanted to be friends.” He said with an embarrassed expression that somehow I find amusing. And just like earlier while listening to his letter, it was too late to stop me from laughing out loud at his absurdity.

“You can laugh, huh.” He said satisfaction is written in his heterochromatic eyes.

“I’m still human. Of course, I can laugh.” I said while trying to compose myself.

“All right! I have decided!” He said out loud in a joyous tone. “Play with me, Gene Yuan. Write your story, I’ll make it a reality.” I fixed my gaze on him after what he just blurted out of the blue.

“What do you-“

“You want to be a novelist right? And I want to be a Film director. Let’s claim it.” My brows furrowed at his words. This is the first time that I buffered while talking to someone. Or rather say, I can’t keep up with him.

“Achlys Sean Zuniego at your service. Son of a well-known surgeon and a future Film director. Take my hand and I will make sure that we will claim it…our freedom from this wretched society.” He declared while offering his hand for a handshake, plastered on his lips were the most annoying yet beautiful smile that I’ve ever seen while the sun sets behind him.

I hate unwanted attention. I don’t like being surrounded by people. Like a lone wolf abandoned by its pack, I got used to solitude. However, deep within me… I knew I’m waiting for something like this. I am waiting for someone who will offer me their hand and tell me the words that I have been wishing to hear from the people I cared for.

“Your works are not worthless. I’ll make sure that you won’t regret taking my hand. Together, we will obtain the freedom that we deserve. Freedom to choose what we yearned to be. Freedom to take the path that will make us happy. So...take my hand.” Achlys Sean said with a contagious smile on his lips.

And just like that, my heart waywardly races for the third row in a day because of the same person with heterochromatic eyes, named Achlys Sean.

--

I stared blankly outside the window of the room that they put me into after several tests they run on me. I didn't bother to look at the door when it opened and closed, because I knew that it was just probably him, checking on me out of guilt.

But I was wrong when I heard a different voice calling my name like they were in pain. Like they're dying.

"Gene Yuan."

I shifted my gaze to that person who called me in my full name, just to feel my chest tightening when I met his heterochromatic eyes, tears forming on its lids.

"I'm glad you're finally awake." His voice cracked making it harder for me to keep looking at him...to keep listening to his voice. He raised his hand to touch my bruised face but halted when I spoke for the first time with a cold expression.

"Who are you?"

Three words. Those were enough to see his eyes lost their light.

And enough to end... our first encounter.