eliminate the root of all these problems, just like what he always does in his job, when he was still fighting on wars. I knew he would.

With all these comforting words to distract myself from my initial gruesome thought, I went to open the electric- fan and turn the lights off. Time to sleep. I laid down on my bed and tried to think of nothing.

Then, memories flashes fragments of past; remembering no one looking out for me when I was a kid, when both of my parents had plying busily somewhere on their businesses, sometimes there's my mom that I slept together with, sometimes it was dad, but I realized the more that I grew up the more it became so rare that I get together with them, or maybe even saw their faces in this house, especially when mom died on her failed surgery, or dad when he was assigned in a different territory. Everything went change, after that. But I remembered also how grandma became a surrogate parent for me, for the lack of responsibility of my own parents, that they owed during the day of their marriage. She became a hero, a good and living guardian, within those years, no one was left to raise me and I think it's a good payback to make sure she's also in the comfort of care, especially with her age, turning old. And we could do that, only if she's in this protective circle guarded by John.

For now, I'm looking forward to her leaving her home and living together with us. I Am hoping for each next tomorrow's, that there will be none- another found hanging body, not until she was here or should i say- not anymore. Remembering still the puckered faces of the people. It will forever mark their whole lives as they soon began mourning the death of their son in an endless procession. Probably time will heal.

I don't want to experience that, I thought. Not anymore. Not again, after I saw the lifeless, merely just a cold vessel of my mom's body in her own funeral. But I don't remember if I cried during that day or not, but one thing I can remember was I regret the day I stopped occasionally saying to her like a goodnight, giving her a hug, before she went on her night shift work.

And looking from that point of view of that kid, it could be tolerable, knowing I feel, I'd left behind, and that inner child of me had been seeking attention, but was scarcely given, so I settled down for caring less, for not bothering anymore.

But I regret it, until it is all over. I was oppressed from saying it again, in her cold casket. It was encaged deep down inside me. I cannot say it— knowing she will not reply back to me nor hug and comfort me.

It was a paralyzing event for me. It was so sudden, I was young back then, purely innocent. I'm not completely aware of nor prepared when things start to shatter. I can't go back to my past, that's always the painful reality, when it's gone— it's gone. People and things come and go, but why though it felt, it was just yesterday, a far-fetch time where I don't want to look back, but at the same time be part of it all over again.

I was hugging another pillow, and had cloaked myself with a yellow stained white blanket. I tried to encapsulate the warm days of the good times– where there are no worries, where I don't have to worry. But all I can feel right now was the now tear-drop wetted pillow, along my face and the cold-encased, huggable pillow.

I'd lost the warm, it was now a farfetched story of the past, once happened and now can't go back, trailing away from me. The more I tried to remember with my eyes closed in the darkness– the more it became an image- a blurry, ambiguous part of memory.

I tried to think of nothing. I tried.

******************

It's been hours of trying to empty my mind, it was a loop of unending process of thoughts- all tangled into one place. But I can discern that there were momentary moments of sleeping but eventually prevented, because of either worries 'what if that thing is just around me, in my room. Watching and patiently waiting to jump and feast on me, or maybe I'm just not comfortably positioned underneath the cover and crammed myself far on the wall, even though there's enough for two.

I knew it was always the same thing. And no matter how much I tried to wipe it all away— it was always lingering – a permanent mark on my brain— the foreboding thought– the threat– the culprit wielding danger.

So I every now and then, will wake up to briefly study the encased-in-dark room, if there's any suspiciously breathing-animal.

Look- intensified, penetrating the deepening darkness on each corner and hallucinating things, scaring oneself to the things that wasn't really there; only to proved wrong, then closing once again my eyes, only to instinctively think someone was staring, so I will open again my eyes to check.

This became a habit loop, my thoughts the trigger. Until it was already 12 in the midnight, as I glanced at the wall clock. I'm just now exhausting myself, until my brain gives up from feeding itself, until it has no choice but to shut down and I can finally rest.

I tried still and I can already feel it, the drainage of energy. Thoughts obscuring and fading away into a state of nothingness, until I'm not completely aware of anything.

And when I was almost there— I got easily overthrown, not again with the dreadful thoughts, but seemingly right now, a noise coming from the external force.

And within a few minutes, it forcibly woke me up and I had no choice but to look for it.

The noise was familiar, even though I'm not yet opening my eyes. But even though I was at the edge of finally sleeping, from the sound of it that seems nearing— threatened me.

The crackles of fire.

At first, I thought that the house was burning. But immediately as soon as I woke up I didn't see any signs of things burning. I tried to use my sense of smell to track where it was coming. Then for a one heart- pounding second, I thought, it could be coming from any part of the house. So I went hurriedly outside the hallway- to look, but there's none. Except the noise had momentarily receded when I was in the hallway, then I tried to go downstairs, but I didn't see any. So I went back to my room, and the noise came more. I'd find where it was coming from. I guess I was half-asleep to not see it at the plain sight. Beyond the window.

A saw flickering red lights from- beyond the crystalline-made glass window. It was coming outside, from the forest.

Then I was about to grab-unwind and open it, when I think about it all again. The danger– the harm– the forest– the tale. What if, it's there.

I was fluctuating in my thoughts to know what was beyond, as much as afraid- the moment I opened this— it was there, ready to attack.

But all I can hear was the crackling— fire ravening the woods, the thumping sound of the howling wind through rooftops. And also the serenading insects.

I retreated back away from my hands, down to my lap, still considering some few dire factors. So I sat back on the bed, while still the windows were closed. Watching from it alike to a weak-signal television with blurry and murky images.

I'm intrigued and interested with what was happening as much as I fear the thought of something scary would jump out and scare me, the moment I opened this.

So I stayed frozenly, for few moments, but the more I heard the strong howl of the wind that clattering the rooftop, the more I hear the tree branches rustled, the more it kinda fear me, too, that the wind will help the fire to propelled itself more- widened its range consuming more plants and trees. I thought, what if it came near to me.

But still, I'm not sure with my thoughts, and the only way to know the truth is to look through the window; to open this. Maybe, for a brief moment, I thought that will do.

So I began. I hooked my fingers on its slim iron lid, unwind, then opened it fast, so I could immediately see it.

I was wrong, with my previous thoughts. It was too far away to come here. Not, too huge, to he able to encompasses all of these, even ours or the residing residences around these forest edges; not that important to be regard

Why though, when I was still lying, it sounds like it was coming near around; then proved wrong the moment I woke up only to see it, too- far away from here. Are my ears deceiving me?

And another mind-boggling was, who will start a fire at midnight, at the heart of the forest, after all of these starting, sudden- dreadful events happened yesterday, who could have dare to go there.

It started to confuse me.

Who or what caused that? Is it a person?

The cold wind is still pursuing, the fire and it's lurid red lights, can be seen from a few miles away from here. The sparks propel and fade. But from the condition of the strong wind, I thought it might not help to snuff out the fire but help to propel it more. I wonder if it could go here.

After watching it from a remote distance, I closed again the window, knowing it wasn't that near and the probability of harming is too low, before it even comes here, it must have taken a few long hours and would already be extinguished when the sun comes up.

Back on my sleeping position, I let my eyelids fall back. My mind, now, drifting away, momentarily from the troubles. Though, just for tonight. I know I'll retain it all back tomorrow.

————————

I woke up seeing dad looking out the window, open and letting the breeze come in. I see greenery tree tops, the sky pale white, and other than that I could hear the tweets of birds.

I bet the bright less sky, denoting what'd the TV reporter said about the upcoming storm. A storm that will just pass swiftly but a strong of a kind one.

I can see him, looking beyond the treetops. He must be looking for something, could be the forest fire that had started last night. He must've been aroused ,too, by the crackles of fire. But when I thought it all back again— I thought foolishly, it was just happening around the corner— but not, when I went through the window to check.

I glance above on the clock, just near the door, to see that it was already 7. The start of the class is 9. Though I haven't yet received news for the possibility of canceling class today, I anticipate it all from dad, now standing still– looking beyond on the horizon, musingly, must've been still thinking the intrusive noises, last night. Or probably waiting for me to wake up. But I can't deny also, the aftereffect of those mind intruding thoughts last night- that it made me paranoid and had let me sleep for a few hours. As much as wanting to get back to sleep; my eyes won't open fully, I can still feel my giddy head, dad had turned around to see my eyes half-open looking at him. And when he did, I tried to plead for a few more minutes by pulling the blanket over my head. Yet I knew it's too late;

"Ellena?"

"Hmm?"

"Wake up already you'll be late" he ordered

But I didn't answer him, the demand for more sleep was high, I was still feeling it harboring inside, but declining fast as soon as I heard his voice.

"Ellena? Wake up"

This time, I didn't have to answer him, I squirmed a little underneath. Both half now- obeying his order and my hope holding out, thinking he will soon leave and I'll continue my interrupted sleep, cause there's still enough hours to prepare for school, I thought.

"Ellena, if you have any plans to go to school today, then rise up already, your breakfast is waiting. Just fix your bed, first, then take your meal"

"Ok" now I answered.

But before I even got up, dad had expressed his disapproval of that my room is directly positioned and hit by the sunrise, and why though I'm not letting the windows open to let the air in. And hearing these things from him, he was actually right, I can clearly discern, that throughout the day, the level of warm in my room is steeply inclined, if not the fan wasn't open

"Are you afraid of the monsters?"

Well, hearing those words was a bit offensive. I know I was already smart to decipher what's right and what's wrong, to understand the difference between what's real and what's not. But I can't deny my fear about the possibilities, that there is really a monster lurking just outside, though I don't want to look weak, so admitting it only inwardly toward myself is enough already, saying it to others was a bit showing fragility.