Somewhere between the country songs and the copious amounts of alcohol my mind replayed the night it all ended, and my family’s life changed forever. “Nelson, I’m sorry I didn’t get dinner done before you got home.” I cried begging for his forgiveness as he pinned me against the countertop making it dig painfully into my lower back.

Nelson got really close to my face and asks ever so sweetly, “What’s your excuse tonight May? Was it the chicken’s fault because it refused to get in the pan?” Nelson said in a condescending tone, “Was it the oven’s fault for not being faster? Or was it simply because you are incompetent and are unable of managing something as simple as cooking and making sure my kids have been fed and are in bed by time, I get home?” He was straining so hard not to yell by time he finished his interrogation; If anything, he wanted his kids to think he was perfect.

“I’ll do better I promise,” I swore, my voice barely above a whisper. He did not like it when I talked aloud.

Nelson moved his arm so quickly I pressed myself against the wall resisting the urge to shrink down and cry. “Uh huh I seen that,” he sneered, “I will not punish you tonight my dear.” He said so lovingly I thought maybe, just maybe he had tired of seeing me cry, but then he finished, “only because you minded your mouth, however; I am extremely tired so I do require my beauty rest.” With that he stalked off towards his room without touching his plate.

My heart sank and tears welled up in my eyes. I felt like I was the biggest loser, and a failure as a wife as I put away the leftovers that only I would be allowed to eat. Once I finished cleaning, I grabbed my pillow and blanket from the hall closet and made my way to the bedroom to take my place on the floor on his side of the bed. It was not comfortable, but I did not deserve comfort after making my husband go to bed hungry. I knew better. I settled in as quietly as I could because if I woke him, he wouldn’t go easy on me and I was still sore from the last time.

“I can hear you breathing.” Nelson snarled, “Why don’t you just take your huffing and puffing elsewhere, like the porch.” I could almost hear the smile he wore as he sent me away.

I knew I must leave, but I didn’t like the porch, too many bugs. My heart shattered as I gathered my things while holding my breath to not make a sound and went to the porch tears streaming down my face. When I woke up the next morning he was already gone. I had to identify his body just a few days later.

“Hey beautiful,” Nate’s voice was my lifesaver in my nightmare, “why are you crying?” he asked as he wrapped his python arms around my shoulders pulling me close.

“Just remembering why, I hate him so much.” I cried into his chest. Nathaniel pulled away so he could look directly into my eyes so there was no mistaking his sincerity.

“Hey now,” he cooed wiping tears from my cheeks, “You are safe, you are loved and you, my dear, are finally free.” These sweet words made way for fresh torrents of tears and made me feel some type of way.

“Good morning beautiful.” Nate said as he woke me with a kiss on my forehead. I look around and realize I’m at home on my couch and I have no recollection on how I got here.

“I am so glad I have you for a best friend Nate.” I smiled up at him the best my still inebriated self could manage.

I was blessed to get one of his full megawatt smiles. “What brought back the flashbacks?” he asked as he made me a cup of coffee. “Was it how much you drank last night?”

Wow this right now? “Uh, I’m not sure. How much did I drink last night?” I asked nervously.

Nate let out a loud laugh on my behalf, “Well, love, I would be easier to tell you what you didn’t drink after Alexa took off.”

I could feel the horror on my face, “That much?”

“Yes,” Nate says with a sly smile playing on his lips’ edge.

“And? There is something else isn’t there?” my voice sounding whiney to my own ears.

“What do you mean?” Nate hedged. I just sat there staring at him because I knew he knew what I was talking about. Nate sighed shaking his head, “Look, it could be the stress, or “her” showing up last night.”

“Or the asshole could be haunting me making sure I never get to be happy again.” I said mostly to myself, although Nate heard.

“Speaking of last night,” Nate hedged, “What did the backstabber have to say?”

“She has a name,” I point out. Nate just looks back at me with an ‘I don’t care’ glare so I continue, “Well, first she wanted to know the “truth” about his death, then let me know that Nelson is also the father of her two kids.” My voice deadpan; taking another sip of my molten goodness.

Nate’s jaw dropped. Either by my blasé or by the information or maybe both, “He’s Josiah and Olivia’s father?” finally choking out.

“Yep. Apparently, their affair started long before I suspected.” I shrugged. “It makes sense actually,” Nate’s eyes bugged out making me chuckle, “Think about it, she never got married, we never seen her with a guy after she got pregnant with Josiah, never really had a job so I don’t know how she ever paid for the renovations, the yard keeper, the maid, lavish gifts and a new car every other year, and the list goes on.”

“Damn babes, I’m sorry.” There was enough heartbreak in Nate’s voice for both of us.

“Hey!” I looked him square in his eyes, “Nathaniel I do not want any pity got it? It’s over and I am going to find me someone better eventually.” I didn’t believe that for a second and judging by the look on his face, Nate didn’t either.

Shaking his head Nate changes the subject, “So best friend, what are we gonna do today?”

Still curled up in a tight ball on the couch I rack my brain for plans coming up with none. “You pick. I’m free.” His answering smile had me concerned, but in an apprehensive kind of way. This guy is something else.

Smiling wickedly, “Ok. If I get to pick, then guess what; I’m leaving.” He stood, stretched, then turned only slightly to half wave a bye before he was gone.

“What the...” my face dropped, “What the heck just happened here? I sat there talking to myself like an idiot. He just left so fast. Shrugging my shoulders, I start thinking maybe it’s time for a nap when my phone chimes. I swipe to unlock the screen, reading the text that appears which immediately makes a smile break across my face.

“Be ready in thirty minutes. Hair, makeup, the works best friend. We’re going out!”

With renewed excitement I jump and run towards my room, fling open my closet doors and look upon a wardrobe that hasn’t seen the light of day in years. Standing there staring at my dresses, my cute shirts, jeans, and shoes of all styles. I suddenly realize I don’t know how to do this anymore. I reach for a dress that I bought so long ago, my hands start to shake. I remember the day I brought it home, it was warm out with just a hint of chill in the air. I thought for some reason that my husband would find this outfit sexy and would possibly find me desirable again; two kids within two years after marriage had done a number on my body, so our “adult” time was nonexistent now. This was the day that I realized that my husband may not be who I thought he was.

“Honey I’m home! I have something special to show you that I think you’re really going to like!” I holler as I head up the stairs to our room.

Cresting the top, I walk the eight steps to our bedroom door feeling alive, confident and sexy. Pushing the door open with my foot I stumble over the gown bag, luckily, I am able to steady myself before faceplanting. I jump in shock as I open my closet door, there standing in the center of the room is my husband.

“You scared me silly!” I laughed as I look for a spot to hang this dress until later, “What are you doing in here?”

Apparently I was unaware of the mood in the room because before I knew what was going on he went from looking at the floor to his hand around my throat pressing my against my floor length mirror making the air in my lungs rush out.

“You think you can be gone all day, not be here before I get home and make sure my dinner is done?” Slamming my head back again, “You think you have the right to spend my money without permission? You selfish little bitch!” Nelson finished yelling at me with a final hard slam against the mirror making it splinter.

“Holy shit El!” Nate yelled coming up beside me, but he seemed so tall. What happened?” He asked as he looked around for something.

Nate grabbed me by my shoulders and as he held on to them his face got closer. It was then that I noticed I was on the floor curled into a ball, my heart pounding a million miles an hour, while sweat drenched my hair, face and shirt. I felt so cold and empty inside.

“What? Um, I,” shaking my head to form a clear thought I started again, “I’m sorry.” I said pulling away, wrapping my arms around myself, “I’m not sure what that was all about.”

Nate sat there searching my eyes for something and whatever he found seemed to appease him. Noticing my closet standing wide open the truth of what just happened to me dawned on him, “Oh my, sweetie I am so sorry,” the pain in his eyes tore at me in an odd, protective way.

“What are you sorry for?” I managed a nonchalant tone trying to lighten the mood.

Nate grabs my hands that I was absentmindedly rubbing on my thighs. The warmth of his touch calms the storm still brewing inside. “You do not have to lie to me E. You have never had to lie to me.” The sincerity in his eyes gave me the courage to tell him the truth. Plus, I hated keeping secrets from my best friend and this one had been kept too long.

Inhaling until my lungs hurt, I exhaled with force, “Ok here it goes. I, uh, I got really excited for tonight so I ran up here feeling normal for a moment, then as I opened this damn door looking for something special I remembered the first time he ever put his hands on my violently.” I wrung my hands together nervously as my words fell into place for Nate.

“Jesus Ella May,” Nate bellowed, “Why did you never tell me? The first time? You mean there was more times he hit you? What did he do…”?

Placing my hands on Nate’s face I can feel him tremble with anger, “It no longer matters. All that matters is that I have a chance to heal.” Nate started shaking his head, “Stop looking at me like that mister.” I tried to joke, but there was no humor in my voice. Nate sat there looking at me with so much sadness marred with hate in his eyes for someone that he can never exact revenge on. That’s a good thing because Nelson was evil. I’d die if Nate got hurt because of me.

“Why don’t we stay in, watch movies and you fill me in on kept secrets.” Nate was telling not asking.

“Absolutely not!” I shrieked “I want to go out.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would swear I just seen you stomp your foot and,” getting closer to my face, “Yep, you even pooched out your lower lip.” Nate laughed.

Sticking my tongue out at him resulted in more laughter and more comments about my maturity level. “How about this, I’m gonna go take a shower and you can pick out an outfit for me.”

My heart stopped every time I was granted one of Nate’s patented one hundred megawatt smiles, the kind that lit up his whole face and shone through his eyes. He immediately jumped up, swooped me up in his arms and carried me to the ensuite. Setting me down beside my clawfoot tub Nate started the water and fit the plug in the drain. Just when I thought he was done he went over to my cabinets, grabbing some bubble bath and dumped some in.

“Get in and I’ll take care of everything out here.” Nate said as he walked out the door.

“Stay away from my underwear!” I shouted as I blushed from head to toe; only getting another hyena laugh as an acknowledgement of my request. I don’t want to go commando so hopefully he disregards that.